How to cope with my breakup, context below (venting/need support)

Sorry, this is a long post.

I (29F) have BPD and yesterday went through a breakup. My now-ex knew about my mental health and how it impacts me from the outset (sensitive to abandonment, rejection etc) My ex is severely depressed and he suddenly cut contact for a month, leaving me in a state of uncertainty about why he chose to cut contact with me. I was told not to tell anyone what was going on with him, so I had no one to go to for support or discuss my feelings with. I was patient and gave him all the space he needed, even though it killed me. We rekindled contact about two weeks ago, I owned every action of mine that upset him, took accountability and put actions in place for those. The only thing I asked of him is that he does not suddenly cut contact again, which he couldn’t give assurances for.

After we rekindled things, due to a miscommunication, he cut contact once again. About a week ago, I reached out to him and apologised for my part in the miscommunication and asked for the opportunity to explain my perspective of the miscommunication as I didn’t have the opportunity to but first, I would need space as I’m in a mental health crisis and need to get support and have some stability before we have a conversation.

Fast forward to yesterday, despite knowing I’m in crisis and what could trigger me, he broke up with me via text with no apology after a year of being together. It’s not so much the break up that upset me, as I have spent a lot of time reflecting in the time we spent apart and realised I want to break up due to problematic elements of the relationship, which I planned to discuss in person out of respect. It’s the fact that I gave him space to process his mental health when he needed it yet he had no qualms in breaking up via text even though I asked for space myself. I feel torn, as I know that he is unwell himself and I know the breakup is needed as our mental health has made it so we can’t be together and that’s okay. However, it feels as though contact with him has been conditional and always on his terms, withholding it from me knowing just how it would hurt me.

My ex and his inner circle have blamed everything on me and painted me out to be the bad guy without giving me an opportunity to even share my perspective or share why I’m hurt. Instead, his best friend said that if my ex ends his life, it’s on me (his best friend also knows about my mental health, specifically BPD and my triggers). These events have made me feel like a burden, a failure and that I must be a horrible person.

I’m currently under a crisis team receiving support and I am in therapy, so in terms of processing recent events and managing my mental health, I’m starting there. Does anyone please have any other guidance in navigating this breakup and the fallout that will affect my mental health?