Tails, Terror and Snow at Scale: An LBP X Ullr and Artemis Ficnap [PART 1/3]

Part 1 [YOU ARE HERE]

Part 2 [COMING SOON]

Part 3 [COMING SOON]

Original Fan Story: Ullr and Artemis

A/N

Hello everyone! Welcome to this - my super secret project! I had been working on this for quite a while, inspired initially by a discussion in Wrangler's creator library and by u/Carlos_A_M getting me intrigued in LBP as an AU. As pretty much anyone who follows me or hangs out in u/VenlilWrangler's creator library knows, I am quite a fan of Ullr and Artaya's many goofy and touristic adventures on Esquo - and as such I've been wanting to do a fan story of them for a while. What a funny situation that this is how that came to fruition!

As for what to expect: The story (currently at 58 pages in my word doc, WOW!) is split into 3 chapters. This chapter, the first of the three, is an abbreviated adaptation of Ch. 1 and Ch. 2 of Wranglers story, just LBPified. It is intended to set the mood and the background for the rest of the story, and fans of the actual series will certainly recognize much of this, and hopefully be pleasantly intrigued by the changes. Part 2 and Part 3 of this Ficnap are an original story set around the time between Ch. 7 and Ch. 8 of U&A. You will have to use your imagination for what the other chapters were like in this AU!

As far as I am aware, this is the first LBP fic featuring Jaslip, or any NoP2 species. As such, I make no claim to predicting the future of the actual LBP story or U&A. My apologies if I am incorrect about it being the only NoP2 LBP story or if it steps on anyone's toes!

Thank you to SP15 for the setting, u/Between_The_Space for LBP, u/Carlos_A_M for proofreading and inspiration, u/VenlilWrangler for creating Ullr and Artaya and every other LBP author who has provided inspiration.

For fans of my own story MAROONED, the next chapter is almost done as well and should be coming out soon, so fret not!

Without further adieu, please enjoy the adventures of the uber sized goober and her emotional support small guy.

(PS... Chapter continued in comments.)

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Memory Transcription Subject: Ullr Hoback, Aspiring Human Tellus Militia Recruit and Official Short Fry.

Date: [Standardized Human time] May 14, 2160

The rumbling thunder of rubber on asphalt worms its way into my ears and bones, the massive vehicle conveying me down a tarmac that seemed impossibly large and long. The sun filtering through the windows of the bus warmed my pale skin, its heat sticking to my flesh like a second skin as I felt it begin to redden. 

I hate this place.

 Faded memories of trips to Uncle Ed’s, rides around town, and road trips across the lower 48 play like a reel behind my eyelids. I search deeper into my dream vault for happier days long since passed. Anything will do for just a slice of home. A place where I was just a normal young man on a normal world. Where everything felt so big and welcoming. 

Where I felt useful.

Boom, thunk!

My thick skull bounces off the window pane I had been resting against. My eyes dart open to see my fellow recruits wide eyed as they stood to their feet and took up their duffel bags. As I look out of the small observation port on the segregated compartment for smaller beings, I try and identify whatever object or person we had just hit. The colossal green pangolin alien thing apologizes with a garbled voice into the mic. “My bad little sleepyheads, didn’t see the rut in the road! But now is a good time to collect your things,we’re  nearly at camp.” 

Damn you, you goo-goo eyed green Godzilla.

My compatriots and I shake the weariness of our travel out and ready our go-bags. Well, I would have readied my bag, if I had been issued any proper gear. Not one of the aliens had taken me seriously when I volunteered my services and experience. What use would a man the size of a mouse be in the army, anyway? I guess I could stab people in the shins.  

Can’t believe I actually had to threaten the damn bus driver to get me out here. He wanted to cradle me the entire time, like a cherished pet. I ready the small backpack stuffed between my feet, filled with my only belongings: a music and video pad loaded with what I had left from home, a few worn photographs, and some old clothes. 

The bus gently screeches to a halt in front of what could be mistaken for an old war movie set. New, but hastily erected huts dot a clearing in the arid forest. More of the other aliens that I hadn’t bothered to learn about rush to and fro across the training base. I could see some of them carrying small beings in their hands. Fellow humans. More green pangolin bastards, pink ostriches, as well as some ‘land sea turtle robot’ things? I couldn’t help but refer to them as Gamera. Dammit, I should’ve actually researched these new xenos beyond the scaly former oppressors. 

Intriguingly, I spot in the distance what appears to be one of the green pangolins wearing a full metal armor, with one of the bigass turtles following alongside it. The turtle seemed to be poring over its every movement with a diligence and fascination that seemed excessive. It wasn’t until I saw the completely open chestplate that the reason for its importance became obvious to me. Underneath it wasn’t a green scaly pangoperson, but an advanced looking cockpit with a human piloting it.

So the rumors are true. The aliens are repurposing powered armor to make Mechs for human use. Real Gundam shit. 

As cool as the idea of having my own giant robot to pilot around and punch the lights out of giant monsters with is, I couldn’t help but escape the nagging feeling that it was more of an insult to me than anything.

I remember why I am here - to prove to these smug aliens that being ankle height doesn’t make me less of a man. I worked my ass off in the mines since I was a kid, and nobody gave a shit until they found out we were cute little pet look-alikes. I’m nobody's pet though. Nobody's burden. I am a man, dammit and I will prove that to these colossal assholes. 

And prove it to yourself.   

I step out of the observation deck and make my way towards the service elevator when I suddenly see a looming shadow cross my vision. Before I can even react, a large scaly green hand obscures my entire vision, before closing around me. I flinched hard, subconsciously expecting a crushing grip, but it never came. Instead, I found myself gently lifted up into the air. 

Oh, you absolute fucker. 

I look up at my sudden captor, to see the giant pangolin staring down at me with their trademark googling lovey dovey eyes. “Don’t worry, you cute little thing. I’ll get you where you need to go!” The massive thing spoke with such a wholesome earnestness that it was almost too hard to resent that he was treating me like a toy. Almost. 

Off to a great start, Ullr. You’re really showing them. 

I protest loudly to my green dunderheaded captor, but he’s so smitten with the cute tea cup obor that my criticisms and desires are completely ignored. While watching the world pass me by through the fingers of my massive captor, my mind slips back into my two months of self wallowing that I had done since we found out that the past 24 years of slaving had been for a non-existent enemy. Whenever the topic of their big species came up at the bar or the gym, my thoughts had wandered to a life wasted. No family beyond Ma and Pa. Never settled. Never a job beyond colony farmhand. Hiding under the ground, working for the amusement of a huge green nerd like a model ant farm.

Inside the warehouse, I finally receive some relief, when the pangolin deposits me on the desk of some sort of seal-ish creature manning a small reception desk. The big green alien gives me its name, something I had no intention of following up on, and a happy pat on the head before giddily walking down the hall. Giving a deep sigh of frustration, I turned towards the seal, who has since peeled its eyes off the pad on the counter and moved them up to me. It looked up and down (mostly down), observing my old hoodie and jeans before it whips its gaze down to meet mine. 

“Not happy with your issued uniform and gear? Need some replacements?” It, he tilts his head at me in a questioning posture. That’s universal across species huh?

I huff in response “Less ‘not happy with’ and more like ‘never issued.’”

His eyes narrow then widen at my response. “Oh I see. You must forgive us. We didn’t really plan for recruits so… small.

Yup, there it is. 

 “Name and rank?”

A small sigh escapes me before I can catch my manners, “Ullr Hoback and no rank, part of the reason for the lack of gear.” 

A familiar look of confusion washes across his face “Then what are you doing here if you didn’t sign up? Don’t you know how dangerous all this is for someone like you?”

Oh brother this is going to last all day isn’t it? “No I did, but it was lost to the void or ignored. Either way, I’m here and I will be a part of this operation. Now where do I pick up my shit?”

An admittedly amusing eye-roll almost gets a giggle out of me as the creature pushes the pad over with an electronic form requesting that I agree to serve in the Consortium military and accept a standard issue of clothing, gear, and weapons, the latter to be supplied at an undisclosed date. I have to use my entire foot, dragging it across the pad to sign the document. An annoyingly laborious signature grants me an equipment checklist, the room to acquire it, a commanding officer, and an amused pointed flipper down the hall presumably to the aforementioned room. I went to follow it, when I reached the end of the table. Looking down at the great fall, I winced a bit as I realized that this item wasn’t made for the easy access of a… vertically challenged species. Swallowing hard, I looked back towards the massive seal with a downcast expression. It gave a soft giggle before extending a flipper for me to ride down to the ground on.

As humiliating as it was to ask for help getting to the ground, at least this alien didn’t jump up immediately to ferry me around like a cherished prize. He instead just gave me that helpful lift down and a tip to watch everyone’s step, before returning to his work. 

I meander down the halls, being sure to keep towards the wall and avoiding the clusters of pangolin and big birds whom walked past me in the hall. The pangolins gushed at me almost every time, while the birds just gave me an almost contemptuous gaze. It was actually kind of refreshing. 

As I reach a large barracks hallway, I hear a set of  harsh booming voices flow from the same room as my soon to be acquired gear. Halting outside the threshold of the storeroom, I listen in on the reprimand going on inside, my skin prickling with goosebumps as I listen to the ground shaking screamfest inside..

A squawking voice booms at some poor soul. “Why even bother volunteering for this assignment, terrorist? Think you can get at the humans because they’re so vulnerable? I’ll tell you what, the humans aren’t stupid, they’ll figure out your little game and you’ll be sent right back to the shithole where you belong.” A female voice, if the translator is worth its salt.

“Hah, gonna cry? Get over yourself. Your plan is a ruse so shitty, it will be routed in record time. Your predations will fail.” This time, a similar male barking noise as the seal back in the lobby.

The previous squawker’s laugh fills the air. “Exactly right. In the meantime, figure your shit out and get this place in order!” Wait, are they even yelling at each other?

After the last quip, one of the pink avians and a three legged seal exit the room, causing me to have to leap backwards to avoid being punted like a hacky sack. The uncaring duo walked down the hall opposite of my direction, cackling with each other the entire way. What the hell was that? Were they practice yelling?

Cautiously, I shuffle to the open doorway and enter the room. Immediately my eyes are drawn to an absolutely gigantic vest-wearing creature sitting in the center of the room, its head hanging low. I feel my eyes dilate in surprise and hairs stand on end as I study the animal. Its shape and size would have been a nearly perfect example of an Arctic Lurcher Fox from back home. Well, besides one clear difference. One, two, three, yep three tails. Oh, also the fact that it was as large as a damn building. Very strange.

My head screamed at me to walk away. This was obviously some sort of service animal, and based on its resemblance to a terran canid, it’s probably a meat eater. Get out of here Ullr, before it makes you into a dog treat. I was about to listen to that smart voice in the back of my mind, when I got hit with a sudden wave of a smothering feeling. I staggered a bit as it felt like I was slammed down by a massive blanket made of pure… sadness. I could feel this creature's sadness, and boy was it plentiful. I wrestled with my own logic for a moment, before the dumb Ullr brain beat out the smart one. Danger or not, I couldn't let this innocent thing suffer. I carefully make my way into the room, slowly walking  up to the dejected looking canine. As I close in, I see its large purplish black nose begin to twitch as it sniffed the air. Its brow scrunched up a bit, and head tilted as the nose flared once more as its ears swiveled towards me. I was practically between the creature's front paws and directly below its head when suddenly the massive eyes opened up to stare down at me. I froze solid and held my breath as I saw the unfathomably large set of purple predatory eyes looking down at me. As I stared up into them, expecting to see a glimmer of aggression or ill intent, I instead just saw surprise and bewilderment. After a moment of frozen consideration, I stepped forward again and placed a trembling hand onto its forepaw.  “Why hello big critter. Aren’t you just something?” A look of anxious fear flashes across the face of the cutie as my hands make contact on the top of its paw. No sooner had I started though, the massive animal’s eyes became a wash with a wave of relief. I swear its eyes practically glossed over with euphoria, as the massive snout lowered down towards me. I braced for a potential life snuffing chomp, but instead was buffeted by a rush of air as the heavy head landed directly on the ground in front of me with closed eyes. 

It likes it!

I move my hand up and sink it into the fur of her snout alongside the large whiskers that twitch and jolt as I move my hand between them, starting just like I always did back home with, back with… 

A quick shake of my head clears my thoughts as I focus on the now noticeably happier kaiju sized fox in front of me. My hands, fingers, and nails work in perfect harmony as I massage the snout, rub across the broadness of its bridge, and brush between the whiskers. It has been 25 years now but my technique stands the test of time as I represent the human tradition of petting cute dogs quite skillfully. The poor thing’s eyes close and roll back into their head, as their body relaxes into my restless motions. I let a small chuckle out as the three tails begin sweeping and then wagging with fury followed by a small kicking of the back left paw.

The sweet big thing takes a deep breath and opens its mouth as I expect a whine of happiness.. “Oh sweet Esquo, how are you so good at that?”

Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck. 

Steeling my expression, I continue my work, hands still rhythmically moving across the snout and whiskers. It She takes an even deeper breath and I can feel her bone thumping heartbeat slowing down. “You’re not even going to say anything? Just going to keep on going huh?”

I guess I’ll say something before she falls asleep on me. “Sorry friend, I’m in too deep to stop.” 

I make a silent prayer that she falls asleep and that I can later gaslight her and the rest of this base into thinking this entire interaction never happened. I think of what Ma and Pa would say to me if they were told, what I would say to me. You made it exactly five minutes on base before molesting another soldier. A giant alien dog no less. Congrats Ullr, you’ve got a bright future in the service. 

A short booming cough from behind me finally puts a stop to my action and I snap upright and around to face the harbinger of my demise. The pango- No. Nope, time to cut the shit and actually care about what aliens I’m interacting with. The Krev stares at me in a horrid mix of adoration and rage, obviously not too happy one of its sapient pets was petting the sapient “terrorist”.

“Having fun human, fraternizing with the future glory of Esquo? I heard you humans had a certain penchant for calming people and beast. I’m surprised it can even work on a Jaslip though. At least it kept you safe.” 

My peripheral watches as the fox’s posture stiffens and her head goes back to the same defeated hang, pressing fully into the ground. A battling blend of rage and embarrassment holds me from fully speaking my mind as I mumble a justification of my actions. “I apologize sir, I didn’t realize she was sapient at first. I thought she was a tracking animal.”

My heart nearly breaks in two as she somehow slides even closer to the floor, with her forehead touching the ground and her nose tucked underneath her chest in perhaps the most pitiful display I have ever seen. Even her tails seemed to tuck under her flank. My statement seems to catch the Krev off guard as a noticeable smile overcomes his best efforts at anger. A laugh rumbles from his snout “That is good, even the humans think the Jaslips are sub-sapients only good for menial tasks! Pretty foolish to approach wild animals though, little human! Oh my, this will be a great story for the boys. 

As his earth shaking belly laugh finally subsided, his eyes cast back down to me, the humor being replaced by a certain subtle malice. “I’m Sergeant Kalfa. Who are you and why are you in here?”

I settle my simmering fury. This is your commanding officer, make a good impression besides whatever the hell you were just doing. “Ullr Hoback sir. I was ordered here to pick up my standard gear for the start of training tomorrow, but I think there has been a mistake in my assignment.”

He turns his head inquisitively at my statement. “Is that so?”

“Yes sir! I have been assigned as a standard recruit when my prior experience would allow me to much better serve in a tracking, search and rescue, and/or cold weather position.” Work with me here buddy, don’t sentence me to an existence of just running laps and pullups.

Kalfa strokes the scales across his head just as I would my beard as his focus drifts off to something an immeasurable distance away. “Well of course, human. What use would you be as an arctic ranger? You’d be carried off by the first wild avian you meet.”

My eyes narrowed on the big green asshole that stood before me. Of course this kinda guy would also be both a dog bigot and a human bigot. 

“You actually offer yourself to work in the cold wilderness… and as a ranger no less?”

“Yes sir!” I say through gritted teeth.

He stares at me with a mix of curiosity and amusement. “Come to my office, we’ll discuss this further. And Artaya, get back to cleaning.”

{Advance time 6 stdh} 

Hell yeah Ullr,  you still have it. 

I couldn’t help but smile ear to ear as I walked back to the barracks with a full belly and slightly damp hair from a warm shower.

To say my entrance exams were a total success would be an understatement. The verbal recollection of my experience left the Krev stunned, and my stellar showing on the shooting range really cinched the deal. Hell, they even let me try out one of those new prototype mechs for a bit. 

They all about tripped over their own tongues to offer me an officers commission and an assignment in the very near future. Finally, I was making good on my self promise. For those few hours I wasn’t the ankle sized pet, but a soldier of consummate value.  

With a happy pep to my step, I waltz down the barracks hall to my assigned room. As promised, my belongings sat outside the door awaiting my arrival. Scooping them up, I turn the handle and strut into the room. A titanic furry white creature against the far wall stops me dead in my tracks. There she is again, now sitting with her forehead pressed into the wall. Silent teardrops slowly trickle off her nose and splash on the floor. Her ear turns to listen to me but I make no sound. Slowly, she turns her head and sets her eyes on me and I can’t help but notice a slight multi-tail wag as she recognizes me.

A quick scan of the room reveals only one primary cot, but with a small cutout for a miniscule cot for a human on the off-center of it. 

Oh, this reeks of Krev. No doubt how they justify sleeping cuddled up against a human. I would have been angry at this patronizing, had the idea of them seething at their apparent mortal enemy getting to sleep next to the cute human. Jokes on them. 

I saw a small working desk on top of the normal sized one, directly under a large lamp. On top of one desk sits a half eaten dinner of some purple meat and beside it are a few framed photographs and her removed vest. Is this a joke? Kalfa did this on purpose right? Stop staring, say something idiot.

“Artaya, right?” Upon hearing her name she now wags the tails freely. “I didn’t get a chance to apologize earlier. I’m sorry for not realizing that you and by extent Jaslips were sapient beings. I won’t make that mistake in the future.” You're lucky you talked your way out of being squashed like a bug by an angry fox, you big idiot. You’re lucky there even is a future.

My heart leaps in instinctual stimulation as Artaya jumps up and walks over to me, excitement evident in her motions. “No, no. It’s no trouble at all. In fact, you were much more kind and respectful to me thinking I was a pet than anyone else here has been knowing I was sapient!

”Fuck.”

“Quite frankly, that’s awful to hear. But as you can guess, I’ve been assigned as your roommate for the time being. And seeing as this is the officers’ barrack I’m guessing you’re an officer?” 

“Yes I am, Major Artaya.” To this I raise my hand in a salute and repeat her rank aloud. She sniggers before stiffening and continuing in a serious tone. “As a higher ranking officer, I demand that you disclose where and how you learned those Jaslip massage techniques!” 

In turn, I stiffen and drop my arms to my sides and bark back a response. “We had hunting companions that looked identical to you back on Earth. They were nowhere near as… large, but the science of it remains the same. I simply applied the same method to you ma’am!” To this we both erupt in laughter. 

Over the next hour we talk about our home lives and our reasons to serve. Artaya was from a Jaslip Enclave called Esquo’s Rebirth situated on the Krev’s planet of Avor. She told of the massacre at Esquo and how much they had lost to simply the idea of the Federation, she wanted to prevent humans from suffering even more than we already had. I spoke of my simple life in the cavern and recalled my time back on Earth. I didn’t tell her about my deepest goal however. Fake consideration is worse than ignorant inconsideration. After we had finished talking, I helped clean what was left of her dinner and wished her goodnight as we slipped into our respective cots. I was practically jostled out of my small cot as the massive Jaslip crawled into her own, the stretchy fabric quaking like the world's largest trampoline. Coming alongside me, but keeping a respectful distance, she curled up. Somehow, Artaya’s simple presence provided me with a comfort that I hadn’t felt in decades as I drifted asleep.

{Caution: Transcription Enters Dream State}

I stand outside the front door. I’ve been here before. I’ve played this game. This isn’t my home on Earth, this is just another dream. Another dream where I’ll step up to the door, open it, and she’ll be inside waiting. Then as always, I’ll be glued to the floor, unable to reach out and embrace her as she slinks off out of sight. The same dream again, the same torture. Let's get it over with.

Yep, open the door and… boomf This time a large, fluffy mass crashes into my chest knocking me to the ground. Tears spill from my eyes as I squeeze and hold my best friend for the first time in a quarter century.

“My sweet girl, I missed you so, so much…”

Memory Transcription Subject: Artaya, Jaslip KC Military Major

Date: [Standardized Human time] May 14, 2160

I fail to sleep as Ullr mumbles and stirs in his cot, restless even in sleep. I peek an eye open at the small primate as he rolls back and forth, his chest heaving high in pained spasms. For a moment, I hesitate as I consider my choices. The little thing was so confident in his waking state earlier, but here and now he seems almost like a kit yearning for their mother. 

Maybe humans are like Jaslip! They sleep in a big pile! 

Lifting my head from my wrapped position, I observe his little movements and spasms. He sleeps on his chest with the only showing skin being a small part of his face from underneath the blanket he is wrapped up in. He twitches and mutters non-words in an apparent nightmare, one that is really kicking his ass. Ever so gently, I move my head down so that my snout presses gently into his side. I feel his breathing slow as he slightly calms. Pressing even more of my muzzle against him soothes him further, proving my theory correct. 

Humans do sleep in fluffpiles, and it is now time to repay his massage. 

Shuffling my body ever so slightly so as to not rouse him, I inch closer to him until he is pressed against my belly. Lifting myself up slightly, I bring one of my tails around him, pulling him gently underneath me, as I slowly lower myself down again so that he is totally swaddled. As I curl up again and settle, I feel his tiny heart slow and the mumble-twitches cease. I find myself exhausted from the day and his radiating warmth pulls my eyes closed. He lightly mumbles once more "mhm sweet girl..." 

Rest up little guy, you’ve got a lot ahead of you.

Memory Transcription Subject: Ullr Hoback, Human KC Military Something and Victim of Cuddle Puddle

Date: [Standardized Human time] May 15, 2160

As my dream slowly begins to fade, I feel a strange pressure surrounding me. 

I feel warm. So warm… and there's a strange persistent droning noise. A loud thwump, thwump thwump and the sound of what I can only assume to be heavy gusts of wind moving through what sounded like a building's walls. The repeating noise, weight and warmth are so comforting… It reminds me of pleasures long forgotten since moving to Tellus all those years ago. 

Can’t sleep forever Ullr. Gotta get back to reality. 

I focus my mind onto it, allowing for consciousness to return to me and awaken me from whatever strange sleep paralysis has stricken me. 

Wait, if you can actively consider if it’s a dream, then it isn’t a dream! 

A sudden rush of panic floods my brain like a tidal wave.

Wait, where the hell am!? Am I buried!? Suddenly, thaose persistent noises clicked in my head. It's a massive heartbeat and the inflation of colossal lungs. Did I get eaten? Oh sweet Jesus! 

With blistering speed, I whip my arms up from my side and grab into whatever material has surrounded me. Thankfully, I did not feel flesh or muscle, but fluff. Unfathomable amounts of fluff. The initial relief at this is replaced by a new fear.

I’ve been rolled over on!

Claustrophobic panic now gripped my mind, as I felt the presence of this great body on top of me. Pushing down and around me. I lashed out, swinging arm and kicking leg into the soft and squishy prison with the extent of my fury. With each swing, I felt the entire body around me twitch and move, and the occasional agitated whine. At last, I felt my giant roommate begin to shift, allowing me to free my legs. Pulling them up towards my chest, I prepared to deliver a blow that the big canid wouldn’t be able to sleep through! Kicking outward with all my strength, both of my legs pressed deep into the soft belly of the colossal officer, who let out a sudden yelp of surprise and a great release of tension as she rolled off of me. 

At last, free. 

Now seeing the light of morning surrounding me, and feeling the cool air of the barracks once more, I breathed in deeply, refilling my lungs. 

Thank God, I am free at la-

My thought process was suddenly derailed, as a cool shadow was cast over me. Looking up, I saw the source of the shadow - a massive tail now raised ominously over me. 

“Major Artaya, wa-” I cried out, but it was cut short as the massive tail swung down and absolutely WHUMPED me into the bed. 

I was smushed into the soft form of the bed for a moment, before the large appendage lifted again to reveal the world around me. I groaned. The blow was not heavy enough to actually hurt, but it still stunned me when it pressed me into the soft cot. 

“Rude, Ullr! That was very rude! Why in melted Esquo did you kick me!?”

Son of a bitch. Ullr, you are an expert at making friends and social interactions in general!

Breathing deeply, I recollected myself. “Hey look, I woke up and I was just surrounded by a really heavy -

WHUMP.

The tail lifted again from its second blow, as I let out another groan. 

“I’m not fat. It’s mostly fluff.”

I eyed her incredulously for a moment, before speaking up again. “I didn’t say you… nev- nevermind.”

I calmed my breathing for a moment and collected my thoughts. “Would you believe me if I said I thought you were some type of animal trying to kill me while I slept, or had rolled on top of me by accident?”

“Ar-are you being serious? Even after what we talked about yesterday?”

Guilt pangs through my very being at her words. I see her tail raise menacingly again at me, as she gives me an amazingly pitiful pout and stares me down. My mind whips into a fury to find an apology acceptable for the amount of fucking up I have done in the last 24 hours.

“It-it’s…” How do I explain this? Dammit! 

I see the tail poised for another playful blow, when something non-tail related hits me. 

Hey.... “Wait, why the hell were you sleeping on top of me?!”

Her snout seemed to go purple for a moment, and her ears folded back. “Oh uhh, you were twitching and mumbling in your sleep and when I got in close to make fur contact with you,  you instantly started calming down. When I pressed more, you calmed even further so I thought it’d be a polite thing to fully calm you down by laying on top of you. Kind of in repayment for the massage yesterday in addition to it being a traditional Jaslip sleeping pile. Alsoyoucalledmesweetgirl”

“Okay... that… kinda makes sense, s-wait I called you what?”

“Sweet girl?”

Oh. Do I talk that much in my sleep? Sorry Ma and Pa.

“That- that wasn’t exactly directed at you. It’s from my dream. See, back on Earth…” No time for a sob story buddy, just apologize. “Uh anyhow, that feeling of a fluffy thing sleeping around me reminded me of an old pet back home and when waking up, I felt that sensation but remembered that I wasn’t on Earth, and so that feeling was suddenly replaced by the fear of being… buried. You gotta understand, we aren’t used to being..” I halt myself from saying vulnerable. “Minute.” 

“Anyway, I’m sorry for kicking you in the belly, I was just a bit scared.”

To my awful, rambling apology, Artaya just tilts her head in obvious suspicion. I can almost see the gears turning in her head to formulate a question that would rip my obviously shit story apart. Needing to stop that before she gets the chance, I rotate myself up and stand up in the cot and walk up to her. Standing  before her, I make a move to save my hide.

“Major, permission to head pat as an apology?”

Her head snaps down to me and she bores her eyes into my own in a cold glare. Or what would be considered a cold glare if her tails weren’t wagging with the same fury as yesterday. The staring contest does not last long as she breaks and begins laughing. I can’t help but follow in giggles of my own.

“Yes Private, permission granted.”

I reach a hand out as she lowers her snout to my level and start scratching the bottom of her chin but with much more apprehension than my efforts the day before now knowing she's a person.

“Major, does the Consortium military have Reveille?”

“That translated as ‘wake up horn’ so yes, but as you might guess, you tried to beat me like a Kerr before it rang.”

“Does that mean that the latrines are empty right now?”

“That is a benefit of an early rise, we better get to it.”

“Yes ma’am!”

I rise to my feet, grab my daily standard issue uniform, and climb down from the cot before heading out of the room to the latrines. Naturally, I couldn’t keep pace with her, but I did my best. With a shared head nod, we each enter a different one of the private rooms, a definitive benefit of the officers barracks. During my incredibly comfortable shower, a loud, hellish combination of a horn and a squawk pierces through the speakers. That is one cursed Reveille! I quickly finish my morning routine and exit the room to find Artaya in the hallway wearing her vest and sitting among a moving mass of other officers getting started on their own respective mornings. Her tails begin to whip back up into a fury as I nod her way and we start down to the mess hall.

She’s really taken a liking to me just for being the first one here not to inherently hate her. How long has she been putting up with this? Hah, better question is how long will she tolerate me over loneliness?

At the mess hall, we split to gather our respective rations. Shortly after retrieving mine, I turn around to see Artaya exiting with her rations in tail. Back to eating alone in the room? Not on my watch! I put a bit of pep in my step, practically springing to catch up with her, however a group of other officers stop me in my tracks, wanting to talk about my arctic experience again and fawn over the cute little obor.

Blech.

Sorry Major, we’ll catch up later.