Can't speak where I live

Hi, I'm 21 and I've had SM for most of my life. Once I left school I have been able to speak more over the years, and I've found that travelling further and taking part in hobbies away from the area I live,that I've been able to speak in these situations, however I find it much harder in the town I live in, and I am also unable to talk to my friends who I made at school, even though I've known them a long time.

I really want to overcome this but I just feel stuck,I can talk a bit when I'm in town but I'm constantly checking around me to make sure no one from the 'past' hears me, I don't know if this makes sense? I also in the past sent voice notes to one of my friends that were noises and not words, but I couldn't really get past that. I don't know if anyone has any advice or can relate? I feel like in a strange limbo state.