Villaineous Starshadōe and the Vanquishers of Darkness [522]

Hey there, fellow authors! I have finally finished the grueling editing and beta reading process of writing my first literary-fantasy novel. It clocks in at a little over 327k words and it's ready to send out for agent queries. My beta readers loved it for the most part, but they said there were some parts of the prologue that were confusing. So I rewrote some things.

Not looking for advice on the prose or concept, as I am satisfied with them projecting my unique style. I mostly want to know what you think of my first sentence/paragraph. Does it grab your attention? Do you want to read more? Do the characters feel complex and three dimensional? If so, which one was your favorite? Are the themes clear?

The story here:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bn87mBP78buQHtgwenUZbHLaVAd_xNNTAadXC6WFYAg/edit?usp=drivesdk

Critique [1801]

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1oggy5t/comment/nliomr1/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button