My (34M) GF (31F)is convinced I'm going to leave her.
I (34M) have been dating my GF (34F) since late September and as far as I can tell, we've been doing well as a couple. However, there have been a few times where we've talked about expectations for this relationship and she's pretty much convinced that I will end up leaving her at some point in the relationship. It's been a few weeks since we've last talked about it but she made it a point to bring it up yesterday kind of out of the blue.
For context, we've met on a dating app and after talking for a little bit, we decided to move the conversations off the app relatively soon after we started talking. After knowing each other a week, we already made plans to meet up and honestly, I've never been in a relationship that moved this quickly before. Before long, we've finally met in person and made out. She also asked me how I feel about "clingy girlfriends" and I'm used to 'clingy' girlfriends in the past but was still a getting used to how fast this relationship was going.
I let her know how I was feeling about how fast this relationship was going and after some talking, she let me know that she's got abandonment issues and how she also has mental health issues as well. Her previous relationships have mostly either ended by her or ended amicably because her previous partners couldn't handle how she "gets" when she needs new meds.
She's mentioned that she's had previous ideations that ultimately became attempts that landed her in the hospital and how previous partners couldn't handle her when she would get this way. Her longest relationship has been 3-months and she's pretty much convinced that I will ultimately leave as well. I've had a previous ex in the past that was suicidal almost every day and our relationship didn't work out. I'll admit that I was a lot younger and didn't know how to handle my ex at the time so I still feel guilty over having ended that relationship.
After talking with my GF, I told her that while I can't forsee the future, all I can do is promise that'll I'll try to be the one that stays when all of her previous exes didn't. She was comforted by my saying I'd "try" and said she outright wouldn't have believed me if I swore to stay.
That conversation was maybe 3-weeks ago. I had thought we were moved past that conversation but yesterday when I was taking her home from spending the weekend with me, she asked me "you're still not scared away yet?" I responded that I wasn't but was a little worried about why she'd bring it up out of the blue.
I'm not sure if I'm making more out of this than I should or if my gut is picking up something.
Posted Nov 3, 2025, 9:02 PM UTC