18F, I do not know what to do with my relationship with my family. Particularly my mom, F47

Hi, F18. Since 12, I couldn't wait to go off to college and leave my family. Mom had to raise us on her own in the US because Dad was having problems with his papers. It's not to say that she didn't try her best; it thought she was perfect, which is far from the truth. As most households with foreign parents do, the parent tends to want to live in the US, but don't truly want their children interacting or becoming Americanized. I still kept my love of our culture: the languages, the foods, and the stories, but I never got to go outside unless it was at the park or school, which would've been fine if I weren't a social butterfly. I didn't even have my own email until my school issued one to me, and even when I had my first phone, my mom would always be skeptical of having any friends' numbers. So when the pandemic hit, I nearly lost it. I turned to strangers online to feel less lonely, and when my mom found out, it was not good. It didn't help that I sometimes flirted with these strangers. Yes, I know, the online community is not safe, but neither was my family. Part of the reason I turned to online relationships was that I would be constantly judged for what I loved. Whether it was boy bands, the clothes I wanted to wear, the secrets I had, the books I read, or the fact that I had one too many crushes. I told my mom I wouldn't go back to going online anymore, and she began to love me again. I went back to being the daughter she wanted, I went back to not wanting any friendship besides hers, I went back to pretending to love our religion more than I actually did, to listening to the music she liked, not reading so much fiction, dressing more moderately, etc. I began to hate the house I was in and the personality I constantly faked. I slipped and sought online conversations even more. After going into a spiral and going to a mental hospital, my mom decided she'd had enough. She sent me to Africa so that I would, in her words, 'Learn what I took for granted.' She sent my siblings and me there because I needed fixing. But I was never broken to begin with. I was sent over with a phone, and since the backbiting over here is worse, I slipped again into the internet. This, of course, also fcked with my sisters' lives, and they took the phone. And throughout the past 4 years, I've been going back and forth, sending nudes, having IG to talk to my friends from school here, constantly getting asked, 'Why can't you stop?' and not quite knowing the answer. I remember last year, we went to the US for vacation, and I took it as it was, a vacation. As it turned out, the family just wanted to have access to my IG messages. From then on, the backbiting got even worse, and they sexualized nearly everything about me before I went back to Africa. This isn't the first time they've 'tested' me, either. I know I have a problem with online companions, but am I the ahole for wanting to cut them off? They're all telling me I'm wrong, so I'm going crazy rn. -had to crop due to 3000 character limit-