Im at a constant depressed state

i think it all comes from the fact this is not the life i want for me, i want better grades, i want friends at school, i want my friends to pick me as much as i pick them, i want my parents to not struggle financially, i want to work harder, i want to make money, i want to be useful, i want to be pretty

i want to put my life together but it’s so hard, the last weeks i’ve been missing so much school, my grades are fine but when i wake up in the morning i just feel like i cant do this, i feel like everyone is so disappointed in me, all i do is sleep, today i skipped the last 3 periods of the school day just because, i don’t feel like going tomorrow, im an only child and i’m always alone at home, i came from school and i napped till 3:30pm and woke up to an alone house so i went back to sleep, then I woke up again at 5 and iys 6:30pm now and i’m still alone, i also feel so ugly i’m embarrassed to go to school, i haven’t showered in 3 days (i still brush my teeth regularly and my armpits and all that stuff) i don’t even put on makeuo or do my hair im so exhausted of idk just living, i feel like when i’m alone i don’t see any sense in doing anything other than sleeping, i don’t eat i don’t shower i don’t study i don’t do hobbies, my life only begins when my parents arrive home, i only go to school for them bc if it was up to me i don’t wanna do this