Panicking: Reconnected or attempted to reconnect with LO

Link to my previous post (more detail): https://www.reddit.com/r/limerence/comments/1pfu09k/comment/nsqke0d/

I briefly chatted with a guy online and we had good, respectful conversations, but there was some inconsistency in communication (he disappeared for a few days and apologised when he came back). Because of that, I panicked and cut things off abruptly, even though I didn’t necessarily want to.

Yesterday, about a week later, I realised I’d reacted too quickly and reached out again with a casual message and an apology for disappearing. /he responded to the request for help, but I'm still waiting for his response on the reconnection and apology. Since then my anxiety has completely spiked. I’ve been stuck in a loop of overthinking whether I did the right thing, whether I embarrassed myself, whether I lost self-respect, and whether reaching out was a mistake.

Physically, I’ve been experiencing intense anxiety symptoms (nausea, dizziness, headaches, feeling hot/cold, jittery), and mentally I keep oscillating between “it’s fine” and “I’ve ruined everything.” I’m struggling with rumination, anxious attachment patterns, and a strong urge to either fix things immediately or completely push him away and block him.

I’m trying to figure out how to calm my nervous system, stop obsessing over whether he’ll reply, and get back to myself instead of spiralling around this one interaction. I know this is much more about me than him,

Is there any way to fix this aside from going NC? I don't want to ghost, but to cut things off again so abruptly seems rude.