[The True Confessions of a Nine-Tailed Fox] - Chapter 230 - The Heart of Me
Blurb: After Piri the nine-tailed fox follows an order from Heaven to destroy a dynasty, she finds herself on trial in Heaven for that very act. Executed by the gods for the “crime,” she is cast into the cycle of reincarnation, starting at the very bottom – as a worm. While she slowly accumulates positive karma and earns reincarnation as higher life forms, she also has to navigate inflexible clerks, bureaucratic corruption, and the whims of the gods themselves. Will Piri ever reincarnate as a fox again? And once she does, will she be content to stay one?
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Chapter 230: The Heart of Me
Oh no, oh no, oh no. My beautiful body. My beautiful fox body, with its thick, luxurious, auburn coat and creamy belly and ebony paws and fat, fluffy tail! It was unrecognizable mush now. Blood seeped between the willow leaves and plink-plink-plinked onto the floor.
A glow-y ball of light once more, I circled the ruin of my body, the fox body that had taken me over five centuries and nearly cost Flicker his life to attain. How could it be gone, just like that? In the flash of an eye? The closing of a fist?
Whimpering, I bumped the willow leaves. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as it looked. Maybe I could still burrow back into it. Maybe if I piloted it back to the Bureau of Reincarnation, Glitter would find a way to repair it. Maybe a clerk from the Bureau of Academia would know how. Aurelia! She was the Director of Academia now. She could order her clerks to find a fix!
Come on, come on.
I tried to force myself between the willow leaves and into my body, but they repelled me like a magnet. Backing up, I flew as fast as I could at my body. I hit the leaves and bounced back so hard that I struck a wall and ricocheted around the office.
Ow! Ow! Ow!
The Goddess of Life’s laugh jolted me back to my senses. “Funny, I expected more dignity from Serica’s most infamous demon, but I suppose that was all an act, wasn’t it? When we strip you down to your naked soul, we see what you truly are: a pathetic, whiny, little ball of light, flying around like a lanternfly with its head cut off.”
There was a bit too much truth to that for my liking. I wasn’t dignified and elegant at my core, was I? And I could be kind of whiny. Sometimes. Only when justified, of course, but still. And it was pathetic of me to panic over how to reinsert my soul into a body that was irreparably damaged. Even if I succeeded in reanimating it, did I really want to live as a crippled fox? No, better to escape now and reincarnate later.
I let myself bounce off a bookshelf, but this time I controlled the angle so I zoomed towards the doorway. Once I was out, I’d fly back to the Bureau of Reincarnation and –
Weeping willow branches cascaded down over the doorway. No! I streaked for the window. I’d crash through the lattice if I had to –
A curtain of willow branches blocked it too.
No! There had to be another exit! Think, Piri!
Spinning desperately, I scanned the office. There! The grate that the Director used to communicate with star-child runners and lesser clerks! It was shut, but maybe I could push it open and squeeze through –
Pressure pinned me in place. I strained and strained but couldn’t budge in any direction. The Goddess of Life lifted a hand and beckoned, and the force of her stare bore me to her.
You’ll never get away with this! You’ve murdered a Director! Heaven will never allow you to go unpunished!
“Oh, Piri. Piri, Piri, Piri. Heaven will make any number of exceptions when it comes to you. You may have stolen the seals of the Director of Reincarnation, but what is authority if no one accepts it?” Her lips curved into a blood-red smile. “A sham. That’s what it is. A complete and utter sham.”
Yes. That was what we had proved the gods’ authority was. A sham that tottered along only so long as the star sprites and imps were willing to perpetuate it. Which, starting tonight, they no longer were. A laugh burst out of me and pealed across her office.
The Goddess of Life flinched. Oh, she squashed it at once, but I saw it. And she saw that I saw it, because her features contorted. Like porcelain that had been poured but not yet fired, that a careless potter squished while removing from the mold. At the image, I laughed harder.
Remember what you said, I gasped. About the Director’s authority being a sham if no one accepts it. Remember that for when our revolution is complete!
“There is no revolution! Only a minor scuffle that was over before it began. See for yourself!”
She slung me sideways so I could see out her window. High above us, hundreds – no, thousands – of figures battled in the sky, lit by the net of stars and the burning clouds and the blood-red light from the Moon. As I watched, the Third Prince hurled his flaming wheel at a dragon – Yulus? No, it was Den! – who dodged and unleashed a gout of water at the god’s torso. The Third Prince waved his spear, and its fiery point vaporized the water.
“There! You see? Heaven’s net may have a wide lattice, but none can escape it!” gloated the Goddess of Life. “Your little friends are trapped. They’ll be hunted down one by one and tortured to death as traitors.”
Oh no, Den, I whispered. And where was Floridiana? Dusty? Yulus? Nagi? All the other spirits from Black Sand Creek and Caltrop Pond who had come to our aid?
It was only because I lingered to search for them after the Goddess of Life had sat back down that I saw when Yulus barreled out of the steam and blindsided the Third Prince. Den blasted him with more water before he could recover his balance. The Third Prince flailed his arms, slipped off his flaming wheel, and tumbled down, down, down. The two dragon kings dove after him.
“Come!” snapped the Goddess of Life.
I was whipped away from the window to hang in front of her.
“It may take a little time to punish all the rebels, but we will start with you. The ringleader. The originator of plots. The source of all evil. Tell me: What are you planning? Who else is involved?”
Did she really expect me to answer that?
You’ll find out. Surprises are good for the soul. Oh, actually.... I pretended to contemplate it. Do gods have souls?
“Of course we do, you insolent demon!”
Oh good. That meant I could reincarnate her as a worm when this was all over.
Pain sawed around my edges. Oh no! Not again! I mentally grabbed the piece that she was hacking off me, willing it to stay in place. Invisible pincers gripped it and yanked.
I screamed as a strip tore off me and floated next to me, fading to mist around the edges. No no no! This was not good! Flicker wasn’t around to strike a terrible bargain to save me this time!
“Don’t worry,” I heard the Goddess of Life say. “Souls can’t be destroyed.”
Oh, whew! So even if she completely vaporized me, the Bureau of Reincarnation could put me back together afterwards. Like last time.
“However, souls can be damaged to the point where they are no longer the same person. You, Flos Piri, have caused us nothing but trouble since you awakened. It’s time to try again with your soul. Maybe the next iteration will be better.”
What? No!
The invisible pincers rooted and prodded at the raw outer edges of my soul until they clamped down and ripped off another hunk. This wasn’t like last time at all! Last time, she’d been surgical in how she dismembered me. She’d peeled me like a persimmon, spiraling around and around as she hunted for my true intentions. This time, she was simply going to tear me apart by brute force.
The pincers came down on my other side, where the outermost layer of me was still intact, and wrenched off another piece.
Aurelia! Help! If I screamed loud enough, would it carry across Heaven? Would she hear me? Aurelia! Help! Help!
The pincers were replaced by a grater, rasping back and forth, scraping off bits of me that mounded up on the floor.
Aurelia! Floridiana! Den! Dusty! Somebody! Help!
They would come! I knew they would come! I just had to hang on until they did!
The invisible grater screeched as if it had hit metal. The Goddess of Life cursed, and the pincers returned, scratching all over me and searching for purchase.
Wait. What was happening? How had I shielded myself?
Confusion softened my edges, and the razor bit into me. Round and round it flicked, slicing me into a curling ribbon.
No! What was going on? What had I done just now? Through the pain and the screaming, I groped for my thoughts. What had I been thinking when I shielded myself?
I had been thinking…of my friends. And how I knew they’d come. Floridiana. Den. Dusty. Stripey. Bobo. Aurelia. One by one, I brought up their faces. They’d come for me. Flicker too. He’d come if he could.
The razor jolted as if it had hit something hard, and it rocked side to side, stuck. Panting, the Goddess of Life abandoned it and returned to the grater, pressing down hard. But only the tiniest shavings of me came off.
“How – are – you – doing this!” she gasped.
If only I knew! What had changed? What was different from last time?
Last time, she’d cut me away layer by layer, friend by friend, while I scrambled to hold myself together, straining to understand who I was, what I was at my core, because if I didn’t know who and what I was, how could I hang on to myself?
Oh! That was it! That was the difference! I knew who I was this time. I was Flos Piri. A soul who really, really, really wanted to be a fox again, but who was willing to sacrifice that (temporarily) for my goals. No, not for my goals. For my friends. Because my friends were more important to me than my goals. As I was more important to them than their very lives. Because we cared about one another and depended on one another and trusted one another, even though none of us was perfect, but that was all right –
With a screech, the Goddess of Life swung an invisible hammer down on me. I rang like a gong, and the pieces of me that she’d torn off trembled. But not the core of me. Not the heart of me.
You can’t destroy me! I shouted at her. I know who I am, and you can’t take that away from me!
“We’ll see about that!” Jumping to her feet, she yanked her willow branch out of the vase, hurled it aside, seized the neck of the vase, and dumped the water all over me.
Cold! It was so cold! Like ice freezing my heart!
No, hot! It was hot! Like acid corroding me from the outside in while the ice spread through my core until it was brittle and fragile and a single tap would shatter it.
Was this what Marcius had felt when she dripped it on him to transform him from the Star of Scholarly Song into a disembodied soul? If a few drops were all that it took to strip him of his divinity, what would a whole vaseful do to me?
No no no! I refused to lose myself! I refused to let her destroy me and turn me into someone else!
Help! I screamed again. Aurelia! Floridiana! Den! Heeeelp!
The room was going fuzzy. My thoughts were going blurry. Desperately, I clung to my memories, grabbing them, checking them one by one, making sure I still remembered Floridiana’s scowl, Aurelia’s raised eyebrows, Den’s – Den’s – what did I remember about Den? Oh yes, that ridiculous dance in Flying Fish Village, where he transformed into a human and shocked me so much I fell out of the air. Stripey, in both his whistling duck and crane forms. Bobo, big yellow eyes shining, calling me “Rosssie” because that was what she’d called me since the first time we met.
Where? Where had we met? I groped for the name, but even though I could see the little pond full of water caltrops, and the rundown shack with a honeysuckle bush growing wild out front, I couldn’t remember what they were called. Oh no! These were important places to me! How could I have lost their names?
“Scream all you want,” came the goddess’ voice. “No one can get into this office. No one can save you now.”
No, no, no.... I clutched at the faces that were most precious to me, cycling through their names. Bobo, Stripey, Den, Floridiana, Flicker, Aurelia. Bobo, Stripey, Den, Floridiana, Flicker, Aurelia. Bobo, Stripey, Floridiana, Flicker, Aurelia – wait, I was missing a name. Whom had I skipped? Frantically, I racked my memories. It was like swimming through a vat of honey. Acid honey that burned and froze me at the same time.
The goddess’ laugh echoed around the room and rang through all the crevices of my mind. I was fading. I was losing....
“I sealed the door and window with my power. No one can get through my willow branches. This is it, Flos Piri. Or...do you even remember your name still?”
My name...my name...I must not lose my name....
I am...Flos Piri, I croaked.
Yes. That was who I was.
And my friends will come to save me!
“It’s adorable that you think so – ”
The wood trim next to the bookshelf moved. A hidden door slammed open, and a golden stallion exploded through the doorway in a shower of splinters. “I am the Valiant Prince of the Victorious Whirlwind, Vanquisher of Invaders, Inquisitor of Vassals, Vainglorious Subjugator of Insubordinate Insurgents, Vaunted Savior of Imperial Order! Surrender now, and I may let you live!”
A mage jogged in next, seal inked and ready. Behind her, a horde of imps brandishing mops and brooms flooded into the office.
The mage swept a mocking bow. “Forgive the intrusion, Heavenly Lady. We’re here to clean this Bureau.”
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Posted Jan 2, 2026, 1:54 PM UTC