[The True Confessions of a Nine-Tailed Fox] - Chapter 233 - To Whoever Wants the Seal of Heaven
Blurb: After Piri the nine-tailed fox follows an order from Heaven to destroy a dynasty, she finds herself on trial in Heaven for that very act. Executed by the gods for the “crime,” she is cast into the cycle of reincarnation, starting at the very bottom – as a worm. While she slowly accumulates positive karma and earns reincarnation as higher life forms, she also has to navigate inflexible clerks, bureaucratic corruption, and the whims of the gods themselves. Will Piri ever reincarnate as a fox again? And once she does, will she be content to stay one?
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Chapter 233: To Whoever Wants the Seal of Heaven
To whoever wants it? Was the ex-Jade Emperor trying to incite strife among us from the start? Some god of justice he was!
You, I informed him, are the embodiment of everything that is wrong with Heaven. You’re weak and cowardly and spiteful and lazy.
“Piri!” hissed Floridiana. “He was one of the greatest emperors to rule Serica!”
Yeah, great. That was then*. What is he doing* now*? What* has he been doing since they drizzled lotus nectar on him and popped him on the throne to play puppet? “Oh, I’m the greatest emperor to rule Serica, Star of Eternal Justice, Jade Emperor of all Heaven, look how just Heaven must be.” What a farce!
“As a matter of fact,” said the ex-Jade Emperor, almost conversationally, “I did try in the beginning. You will see soon enough how hard it is to change anything here. The Directors push back any time they suspect you’re encroaching on their power, the Assistant Directors guard theirs even more jealously, and rest assured that the rest of the gods will interpret any modification to their routines as an attack on their privileges. Even the star sprites and imps have carved out their niches and defend them with zeal.”
Disgruntled rumbling rose from the shadows where the imps lurked. The star sprites’ mouths turned down, even though they stared straight ahead and refused to make eye contact with the ex-Jade Emperor.
He was not, however, wrong. I might have hated him, but he wasn’t wrong. The Accountants set themselves above the clerks, the clerks considered themselves a class above the imps, and as for the imps, they claimed the shadowy places of Heaven and nursed their grudges there.
We’re going to do better. Maybe you lacked the strength of will to fix Heaven, but I used to be a demon, remember? I used to be The Demon*. Unlike you, I have no qualms about throwing the rules straight off the nearest pagoda.*
“Uh,” said Den, “Piri, I don’t know if that’s the best strategy here….”
Flicker stepped forward. “Agreed. Much of the Heavenly Code is perfectly reasonable. It is the implementation that is lacking.”
“Too many gods carving out too many exceptions,” put in White Night. “Ignoring laws or applying them as it suits their whims. Unacceptable.”
“Untenable,” added Floridiana, moving up to stand beside me. “As Serican history has shown over and over, dynasties fall when those in charge upend the laws as they please. We’re going to create a new Heaven where everyone obeys the same laws.”
“Rule by committee then?” asked the ex-Jade Emperor, surveying our group. “I foresee deadlock and paralysis if there is no clear leadership – well, that is no longer my concern. Here, someone take the seal so I can be done with this.”
I floated forward before I remembered that I had no hands. He could have balanced it on top of me, I supposed, but that would have looked too much like him anointing me. It would have given him too much legitimacy over my reign, and I wanted to start fresh.
Aurelia hadn’t uttered a word since she told the ex-Jade Emperor that she empathized with the difficulty of ruling over a divided court, especially one as malicious and spiteful as this. Hmm. She was, after all, the one who’d coaxed him into framing his abdication as his own choice, the beginning of a long and well-deserved vacation. She’d spent over five centuries learning the ins and outs of the Heavenly Court. She knew what needed dismantling and what could stay, who merited punishment and who merely required supervision to prevent backsliding. I needed her help.
Should I appoint her my Prime Minister? That might work, although the gods might balk at seeing one of their number serve under a former demon. Well, that wasn’t all they’d balk at, was it? If I were being honest with myself, my reputation wasn’t the best. Appointing Aurelia as my Prime Minister wouldn’t do nearly as much to legitimize my reign as making her –
Co-Jade Empresses.
The words dropped into the silence like a rock into Caltrop Pond. As their implication rippled out through the hall, star sprites whispered to one another. I rotated towards Aurelia.
What do you say we take the throne as co-Jade Empresses?
She stood as still as a Temple image, only her face was frozen not in an expression of benevolence but of shock.
“Co-Jade Empresses?” Floridiana tested out the phrase. “I’ve never read about such a thing….”
“Because there’s never been such a thing,” Den finished. “It could work, though.”
“Yes, I don’t hate the idea….”
Thank you for that ringing endorsement, Floridiana. Just for that, you get to be Prime Minister.
“Me?! But I wanted to be Director of Academia!”
“If I am to be co-Jade Empress, shouldn’t I get a say in whom we appoint as our Prime Minister?” Aurelia’s question was mild, but underneath it I heard the challenge: Am I going to be co-ruler in truth, or just a convenient puppet and possibly scapegoat?
Of course you get a say. I’m not Cassius, I told her. This isn’t the City of Dawn Song.
A smile quirked her lips. “I should hope not. I’m not sure even you could pull off serving as both Jade Empress and Prime Minister of Serica at the same time.”
She hadn’t actually said yes yet. For the first time in any of my lives, I needed her more than she needed me. I needed her to legitimize my reign. I needed her to advise me so I didn’t make too much of a mess of Heaven. Stars and demons, I needed her to take the crown from the ex-Jade Emperor on my – our – behalf!
Was that a yes? Because make no mistake about it, I can rule on my own. But I’d rather we do it together. I think we’ll do a better job of it.
She tilted her head to a side, looking to Flicker. “What do you think?”
“Me?” He sounded less like she’d asked for his opinion and more like she’d just stuck a frog down the back of his robe. “Oh, well, I think…I think you’d make a great empress. But only if you want to do it. I think you’ve earned the chance to rest that you’ve never gotten on Earth or in Heaven.” His voice gained conviction as he finished, “I think that if you want peace and quiet at last, she owes you that much.”
Ugh, he was right. I did owe Aurelia. I thought that making her co-ruler with me over all of Heaven and Earth would be the most poetic recompense – but what if she didn’t see it that way? What if she wanted to retire to a quiet palace on the outskirts of Heaven and while away her days gardening and arranging flowers?
If that’s what you want, we’ll make that happen. But…. And here I heaved such a gusty sigh that red light gushed in all directions. I have to confess, I kind of need your help….
Both of her eyebrows arched, inviting me to elaborate.
I need you to balance me. I’m wild and impetuous, and maybe too quick to flaunt convention. You’re calm and steady, although maybe too ready to accept the status quo. Neither one of us would make a good Jade Empress on our own. But together…. Together, we could be great.
The quirk of her lips spread all the way into a genuine smile. “How could I be so hardhearted as to refuse such an appeal?”
Was that a yes? That was a yes, wasn’t it? I sucked in a breath, and all the red light whooshed back into me, filling me and completing me. Well, you never know. You might have learned from me*.*
“Never let it be said that I refuse to learn,” she intoned with mock solemnity. “Shall we then?” She tipped her head at the seal.
Let’s.
She extended one hand, and I flew forward, and the ex-Jade Emperor balanced half of the seal on me and the other half on her upturned palm. As the weight settled onto me, warmth bubbled through my soul, tickling my insides like a feathery autumn grass or the tip of a fluffy fox’s tail. I giggled at first and then laughed out loud, the sound pealing through the Hall of Purple Mists like a joyous bell. Borne on the warm, bubbling, tickling feeling, I floated up. The seal vaporized, but I didn’t care.
What was this sensation? I saw the upturned faces of my friends and allies, some happy, some confused, some resigned, some simply observant, and I wanted to wrap them all in a giant hug, but I wasn’t big enough. No, I wasn’t big enough, but I could make myself big enough! I expanded, stretching out until I filled the entire hall with my red haze – no, it wasn’t red anymore, it was a rich copper – and enveloped everyone present.
But that wasn’t enough. Because not all my friends were here. Bobo, Stripey, Lodia – they were still on Earth. But they should be here. They deserved to be here, to celebrate with the rest of us.
And all of a sudden, I was right next to all of them all at the same time. Stripey flipped through a stack of documents with one wingtip while discussing the rice harvest with Baron Claymouth and Lord Magnissimus. Bobo chased little Emperor Eldon around his bedroom, begging him to put on his nightshirt, while Mistress Jek planted her hands on her hips and bellowed. Sphaera paced back and forth in Floridiana’s sitting room, crushing the fine rug under her four paws, still obediently pretending to be me (although I didn’t think I paced quite like that). Lodia was in bed already, her Matriarch robes hung up tidily in her wardrobe and her dreams full of embroidery and…Katu. Huh. I could peer into dreams now? Steelfang and Cornelius, too, were asleep in a nest of blankets, so entangled that it was hard to tell where the wolf ended and the man began.
If I could see Norcap, could I extend further? I stretched, and it was like learning a dance move – awkward and alien at first, but growing familiar and smooth. My senses lurched east to the Claymouth Barony, where Taila snored on her cot, and spread south into the Snowy Mountains, where One-Eye skittered away from a mortal spider. Then, in a surge, I rushed west to Flying Fish Village, where old men dozed in the fresh sea breeze, and south to Goldhill, where Anthea twitched and dreamed of white sugar rice cakes.
I saw them all, and I embraced them all with my warm, red-gold light. Red gold?
“Piri,” called a voice from both far away and right next to me. I followed it to the goddess beside me, who radiated golden light that was just a touch cooler, more silvery, than mine. “Come back, Piri,” she called once more.
Gathering up all the strands of my awareness, I centered them on her until I had collected all of myself back in the Hall of Purple Mists. A gasp rose from the star sprites.
“How did you do that?” demanded Floridiana.
“She is the Jade Empress now,” Flicker observed.
“How did I do what?” I asked.
I asked, with an actual, physical voice.
Stunned, I looked down at myself. Gone were my glowing red, round, featureless sides. Gone was the red mist I had spread out to embrace all those I loved. Instead, what met my eyes – my actual, physical eyes! – was a gold silk robe embroidered with a five-clawed dragon, draped over an actual, physical, human-shaped body! Human-shaped, not human, because behind me I felt –
Without daring to breath, I craned my head over my shoulder. My knees wobbled. I nearly collapsed. Because there, fanned out in luxurious array, were nine auburn tails tipped with sparkly white fur, infinitely fatter and fluffier than my tails had ever been when I was merely a nine-tailed fox spirit. These were my true tails. This was my true self. This was who I truly was: Flos Piri, Nine-Tailed Fox Jade Empress.
“You have your tails back!” Den crashed into me for a hug that would have cracked my ribs if I hadn’t been the ruler of all Heaven.
“I do! I do I do I do!”
I threw both my arms and one of my tails around him, used a second tail to pull in Floridiana, a third Flicker, and a fourth Dusty. I hesitated just before my fifth tail touched Aurelia, but she stepped in to wrap one arm around Flicker and rest her other hand on my arm.
Sidestepping a tail, White Night patted me briskly on the shoulder. “Congratulations, Heavenly Majesty.”
“Long live the new Jade Empresses!” whooped Den.
“Long live the new Jade Empresses!” shouted Floridiana, half-turning towards the star sprites and imps.
“Long live the Jade Empresses!” they called. “Long live the Jade Empresses!”
“Three cheers for the new Jade Empresses!” Dusty neighed. “Hip hip hooray!”
“Hip hip hooray!” echoed the lanternfly guards, before the unified chorus broke into wild cheering and clapping.
Under cover of the commotion, the ex-Jade Emperor bowed to Aurelia and me and exited the Hall of Purple Mists. A pair of guards followed him out.
“Well? Well? Aren’t you going to take the throne?” Dusty poked us with his nose, leaving a wet patch on Aurelia’s back. “Hurry up and take the throne!”
I tugged away from the group hug enough to meet Aurelia’s eyes. She was wearing a gold dragon robe too, only like her glow, hers was a shade cooler than mine. The seal, I realized, had split in two and embedded its halves into our souls.
“Shall we, Co-Empress Aurelia?”
“Yes, let’s, Co-Empress Piri.”
Side by side, we ascended the dais to stand before the throne and wave at the cheering crowd of our friends.
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A/N 1: I’m very excited to announce that my friend’s book The Cloak and Its Wizard will be coming out next month! My book club and I beta-read it for her and enjoyed it. It’s the delightfully snarky tale of an ancient, sentient cloak who picks a new wizard, and their adventures together. You can learn more about it here.
A/N 2: Thanks to my awesome Patreon backers, Autocharth, BananaBobert, Celia, Charlotte, Ed, Elddir Mot, Flaringhorizon, Fuzzycakes, Just a Kerbal, Kimani, Lindsey, Michael, TheLunaticCo, V0lcano, and Anonymous!
Posted Jan 23, 2026, 3:36 PM UTC