[2503] Bloodsport- First fight scene

Hi.

This is the first fight scene in my story, and the first one I've written in a long while, so I'd love to get some feedback.

AS A HUGE NOTE, this story has a FRAMING DEVICE: Someone is telling this story. This is just relevent to a single paragraph within this chapter so I want to avoid jarring any readers.

CONTEXT: Keeping it brief. Carridon Tyflos is a student at "uni" for Medicine and Sygaldry. He is working on shift as a courier for corpses. He just moves cadavers from mortuaries at night, running a rickshaw with his leader, Golant. Carries shrouds and corpses.
He is a good medical student, but only just learnt how to cast "Magic" for the first time. (As a quick aside, Magic is fairly simple. You can Command an object if you "know" it- have a intimate understanding of it.)

I'd love to hear your thoughts of the following: Mechanics of the fight, Enjoyability, Prose , Pacing, Characterisation
However, of course, please comment or note whatever you'd like. All opinions would be helpful.

Thank you kindly

Here is the doc.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uBg2-odPzjSn91huHgtSmP2a5nNiCFRvTqK75yotc6s/edit?usp=sharing

My two critiques are here.

[2252] https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1qmlmr5/comment/o1vl1h1/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

[1492] https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1qlwa42/comment/o1vt9sd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button