[1146] Colour in my Eyes

Hi everyone. This is the start of a short story. Its my attempt at writing magical realism. Non- English speaker so the syntax might be a bit different. I'd appreciate your feedback on this

Story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FC8uBYybqEolXURBgOwjVXp5NY82hn7FiIo2-kMfiEs/edit?usp=sharing

Crit: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1qo883p/1100_why_am_i_like_this/