What should I do?

Ok, long story warning.

This past summer I worked with this guy in July for work training in Kentucky. I’m getting out of a marriage with an alcoholic, he’s married as well. We were friendly, but didn’t interact much at first. In August, at the end of the work trip, we all got super drunk and I made out with him. We went our separate ways (me to NY, him to TX) and didn’t stay in touch at first. I finally messaged him 2 weeks after we went back to our homes to apologize for getting drunk and for what happened. This led to us texting back and forth. I asked him if he was doing this race in DC. He said no, but the next day he told me he had signed up for it and bought a plane ticket and hotel.

So we met up in DC, he met my good friend, and we ended up having sex. I asked him later if he regretted it. He told me he was having marital issues and was planning on getting a divorce because he felt like he was a roommate to his wife. He told her he wanted a divorce, and also told his parents.

From September to December, we messaged every day on Snapchat, Instagram, and text. He sent me a birthday present, and would remember little things about me, like how much I like birds and Jeopardy. He also got into football and running, because I was, and he followed my coaching plan. Like every night he’d ask me what the next day’s run was, and we’d do it together (him in TX, me in NY). I gave him my old Garmin watch and he created a Strava account.

We made plans to meet up in Austin for NYE, and also in NM for a marathon in March. He got an Airbnb in NM, I got the Airbnb in Austin.

When we met up in Austin, everything was fine on day 1. on day 2, we met my best friend in San Antonio. That night his wife called and it upset him. They hadn’t spent the holidays together and he said they hadn’t talked in a couple of weeks. After the call he was a little distant. The next day, he was quiet and distant. We had no physical contact at all. I finally lost it (I’m an anxious person probably) and told him I wasn’t having a good time because I felt lonely because he was being cold. He said he doesn’t like feeling like a bad person, and he shuts down and feels overwhelmed when there’s conflict. We ended up fighting (or I did, he was pretty quiet), I said he wasn’t ready for a relationship, and he said he thought he was but maybe he wasn’t. He ended up driving back to Dallas that night and I changed my plane ticket to leave early and got an Uber to the airport (he was my ride originally).

We sort of stayed in contact, but it was like him sending a reel a day on Instagram and we didn’t text much. He did tell me on the phone that he gets overwhelmed during relationship conflict due to childhood trauma. He had told me he had a traumatic childhood when we were in DC, so this wasn’t too surprising. We ended up getting back together and I asked him if he wanted to just be friends. He said he wanted to be more than friends and he still had feelings and wanted to still do the NM trip. I said I could get my own place if it would make it weird with his wife. He said the marriage was over and they were filing that month (January).

The first weekend of February I asked if he had ended up filing last month. He said he hadn’t, but the paperwork was on his desk at work and he just had to finish it and it was his project for that week. That Wednesday, I asked if he had gotten the Valentine’s Day card I had sent him. He said he had, but that he was waiting till Valentine’s Day to open it. I said it bothered me that he hadn’t acknowledged when he received it. He said he was sorry for upsetting me. I texted him the next morning and said I was sorry about lashing out about the card, I’d had a bad day. I didn’t hear from him for 2 days. I called after 2 days of silence and he said he’d been super busy with stuff and hadn’t talked to anyone, even his best friend. I told him that if he needs space, that’s fine, but I needed to know that. I asked him if he wanted to be friends, so there wouldn’t be an expectation of daily contact, and he seemed reluctant to want to agree to that. I texted him when I got home from work and said what’s up. He said he was going to a hockey game and I said, oh with who? He said 2 friends and his wife. I was like, oh have fun. I never heard from him again.

I called him a few days later and he didn’t answer. I’ve texted him a couple times (that day and a few days later), with no response. I unfriended him on social media, but he still posts to Strava periodically even though he has no followers (I was his only follower). He also hasn’t cancelled the Airbnb and he still follows the program I work for on Instagram even though he has no affiliation with it. He hasn’t blocked me on social media, but we aren’t friends.

Should I assume this is a break up? Should I reach out again? Is this deactivation? I’m so confused. Please help!