[108] Freewriting Prompt Feedback

Critique 1
Critique 2

This is my first post here. I'm new to fiction writing. I'm reading "Writing Fiction," a textbook that contains exercises at the end of each chapter. I lack anyone to read and evaluate what I'm doing.

This Chapter 1 exercise was to grab a random noun ("garden") and free write about it. I wrote for about 10 minutes. Then, I went back and changed a few words, so this is not purely spilled out onto the page. But mostly this is what I got.

I'm so new to this that I don't know exactly what to ask anyone to look for or comment about. Possibly this is too short to even be posting. Maybe just what impression it gave you? Whatever you see, I'd be interested. Thanks.

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As a child, she had found a packet of flower seeds once. She poured the dark specks into her tiny white hands, tossed them onto the lawn, and waited with confident impatience for her garden to emerge. She imagined that tossing an apple core on the lawn would result in an endless supply of apples by the end of a summer. She understands, now, about how the soil must be treated first, cut. The earth must be scraped and turned and coated with shit. Anything growing must be trimmed and trained and jealously possessed. Now, from her lined, russet face, her dark eyes accuse the pyrrhic apple blossoms.