Princess Bittersweet Musings: AI Comments, Online and In-Person Practices

I cannot deny that AI comments against my posts can still bug me – for a minuscule few minutes – until I get over it.

I literally have three screens at home that I use for work, which means I’m on my PC more than my phone these days. But one time, after a session, I had the itch to write and post about younger dom/mes and predators, and a light bulb hit me.

Things I type on my phone are closer to drafts. They’re raw. Compared to the pieces I sit down to write on my PC where I copyright, polish, and yes, use tools to correct my grammar, they feel more visceral. I’m not a native English speaker. When I display incorrect grammar, I get mocked. When I spend time polishing my work, it suddenly “isn’t mine” anymore.

Hayy, people.

And then, another thought occurred to me. My experience of typing on my phone versus using my PC is similar to how I experience domination online versus in person. Minus the accusations that I’m fake.

Ironically, I find it the opposite of what people assume. I observed that people assumed that planning in-person scenes is rough, but dominating online should be more curated and rigid. You have to constantly maintain communication and follow through on instructions, or your effort is questioned and your sincerity doubted. And as much as people want to blame it on my supposed ineffectiveness, I’m confident in how I handle my budding dynamics.

I treat subs who approach me and want quick sessions like play partners in real life. Communication is supposed to be low-maintenance. Only when we both want to play should we demand each other’s full attention.

But apparently, that’s wrong.

Some subs take it personally if, while you’re managing a relative’s funeral or dealing with accidents that prevent old injuries from healing, you’re not serious about them.

God. Sex workers are hated here. But if you ask them to fund your lifestyle, you’re even more villainized. To be a “respectable” dom/me**, you need a full-time job but then to be** a “responsible” dom/me**, you also need to maintain deep, long-lasting emotional connections and have 24/7 open communication.**

Then online subs who approach you hoping for a real, beyond-transactions dynamic find it offensive or boring when you take your time getting to know them.

So I became stricter. Stricter with my structure. More robotic in my approach. That I started questioning whether I was losing my own authentic voice.

Phone typing feels more like in-person sessions. It’s visceral. Full of bloopers. Mistakes can’t be hidden. But my submissive play partners are aware of that. They know they can raise concerns and assert boundaries respectfully (but ohohoho, some cheeky bastards can be assholes about it too. Just like the grammar nazis). 

See how I said “submissive play partners”? I’m not in any kinky relationships right now. I don’t jump into kinky relationships after just two or three months of knowing and playing with someone. I think people who practice in person can relate that sometimes you don’t even get to play with a potential partner within three months.

Subs/kinky folks who wanna try (kinky) relationships, will have to really date me. And dating me means getting to know the monkey side of me. 

In person, things are more lax and relaxed. The only persona I need to maintain is the persona of who I actually am. Of course, as someone who cares, I don’t like making mistakes because mistakes can cause harm in this case. But just like in language, I can’t claim master-level expertise. I’ve been speaking English since I was five. I studied in prestigious schools. And still, my grammar feels fried. Maybe there are kink acts I think I’m good at but actually am not.

The difference is that in person, there’s a safe space to admit that. To say, “I’m not perfect. Teach me.” There are no anonymous mocks and insults thrown from behind a screen.

So why not just stay in person?

Because I started online too. I have long-distance friends. I believe there are good people out there. I’m willing to extend my patience.

I just think I also have the right to occasional rants and complaints. Just like typing on my phone versus my PC, I’ll practice kink when and where I can, online or in person. They serve different purposes. One is curated. One is visceral. Both are real. And I am still real in both.

xoxo~