OCD recovery - feeling overwhelmed and scared of accepting uncertainty

Hi all!

I have been diagnosed by professionals with OCD, GAD, and PMDD, and all of these things greatly impact my life. I am doing my best to live my life with these issues, but every week is different. My OCD has been pretty severe at some points of my life, and I have been practicing ERP for maybe 8 months? Things have definitely gotten better, but some weeks (especially leading up to my period) are just brutal.

I've seen a lot of progress in my OCD symptoms by facing my fears and not doing anything about my anxiety. Just letting it chill with me. I was feeling good, and way more free, but in the past week or two I've been spiraling a bit. Maybe it's just another way for my OCD to get at me. I've had intrusive thoughts present themselves in so many themes I can't even name them all, but they all boil down to the same thing. I feel like I haven't really, truly accepted uncertainty. I'm still finding myself using "safety nets" with exposures or asking for reassurance but then doing the exposure and dealing with the anxiety. I've been trying to take it slow so I don't get too overwhelmed, but I still feel stuck. Trapped. Like I'm still a slave to the OCD (if that's a good way to put it???). I just feel like I've reduced or eliminated some of the compulsions, but ultimately I'm not free.

How do I truly accept the uncertainty and gain freedom, be honest and upfront with me. I can do it, even if it's hard, and I want to just jump in. I'm so sick of this.

I'm feeling really overwhelmed with life and like the OCD thoughts are never going to end. They feel like they're never gonna stop and I'm so exhausted all the time, mentally and physically. I've never been good at celebrating my victories, only at seeing my flaws.

I've hit a wall and I'm so exhausted and too close to the issue because it's in my head lol. Any advice is appreciated!!!

Thanks <3