Give me your most unhinged predictions for the 2027 season

I'm trying to cope with the clusterfuck that was this olympic season. Give me your impractical, impossible, unhinged hopes and dreams for 2026/2027. I'll go first.

- Two weeks from now, Kaori will show up on social media and announce her retirement was a prank. She will then go on to complete a grand slam and win her 5th world title.

- Ilia skips quints altogether and lands a six-rotation jump at a challenger comp in august with five people in the audience.

- All ice dance competitions from here on out will be an email. FB/C will automatically be awarded the gold and the rest of the medals are determined by whose coach can politick the hardest.

- Stephen Gogolev wins the grand prix final. With his laces fully shredded.

- Jason Brown and Amber Glenn continue to skate forever and ever and ever and ever and ever. They are not allowed to retire, because I said so.