[1400] Dusk Eternal - A Short Story

Crit 1 (1362)

Crit 2 (1013)

Hello! First time submitting here—please let me know if I've messed up with the rules. I could use some help coming up with where to take this short story piece next.

Definitely interested in any overall feedback, line edits, or weird grammar discovered.

Would you keep reading if there were more to the story?

If so, what are some of the questions you have that you'd like to have answered?

Do you notice enough of a change in the MC by the end, or not enough?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FV4fpK3pe15WicaejDCQSzzBHegO0TW3/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=110863054533998269945&rtpof=true&sd=true