(Writing this drunk) I just get so angry and I feel like I'll never fit in, like no one truly gets me or understands the anger I feel

Anger towards my step-father or a version of some god that I hate (I know that sounds weird, it's some spectre thing, like a schizotypal attitude of belief, perhaps) or towards certain things in the world. It's so stupid, like I'm always trying to feel and understand some kindness and empathy that is innate in others but that I do not have. I'm just a bad person. I don't know what to fucking do... I just keep waiting for therapy to work but it's not. I'm inpatient. What should I do? I'm so fucking angry and it doesn't come across in print (in type), I'm not as gentle and kind as most people on earth, I'm fucked up, really. Don't try to see niceness in me, in this post, it's not there. I have so much anger right now. Scary, forceful, indignant anger. It's not funny.