[2613] Facade
CW: some brief gory imagery, not gratuitously (honestly needs to be more over the top given its context), but i put it here so you can avoid that if its really not your thing.
Hello, I'm back again. Plan on trying to get feedback every week so here we are.
Someone on the previous post said it was impossible to crit without the whole story. So I have added a brief synopsis of the rest of the story + the very rough start to chapter 2, for those who want/need extra context. Feel free to skip this if you want (I made sure to include this in the word count though)
Directions for this crit:
Added prologue since last week, due to crits about lack of a hook. I have some questions about this but would also like any general critiques of the prologue.
- How does the tone of voice read outside of the article excerpt?
- What themes do you think the prologue hints at?
With regards to chapter 1 I tried to fix a lot of formatting and grammar issues but some probably made it through. I tried to give more sentence variety and gave some description of Ed as these were both lacking. I have included comments in the doc that look for specific inline critiques. Would also like general critiques of this chapter. Thankyou for all your crits :)
Posted Apr 2, 2026, 9:32 AM UTC