[1813] My Demons Are My Only Friends Chapter 1

recent crits:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1sanuoc/comment/oe7on4t/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1s8ymu6/comment/odu6js0/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1s7iz7e/comment/odelii0/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I shared the prologue a few days ago and got some helpful feedback, so I want to share chapter 1. It's been through a few rounds of edits, so hopefully it isn't too rough of a read.

Open to critiques on any aspects, but would most like to see:

- general impressions, especially on the opening page

- thoughts on Willow, could you follow this character for a whole book?

- what sections did you find your eyes glazing over?

- any abrupt transitions? Clunky sentences?

- it takes place in 2012, so do let me know if you notice any anachronisms

- bonus Q: if you read the prologue, I'm curious what people think about the shift in tone, if going from demonic idiots to a more grounded setting is too much. Or if the prologue even seems necessary

Before anyone comments on the abrupt ending, there's more to the chapter than that. It just gets a little NSFW so I cut it off (she draws NSFW art for a living)

Google Docs link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ksn8F8o4a56y7Gwx87SEhHZau1IfaaTBWHzhEZNtHUY/edit?usp=sharing