Is my mom controlling or am I in the wrong for wanting financial independence? (21F)

Hi, I’m 21F and I live at home with my mom. I work full time (40 hrs/week) and currently contribute about $300 every two weeks (so around $600/month).

Recently, my mom told me she wants to start putting more bills in my name (like streaming services, subscriptions, etc.). I asked if we could just cancel some of them instead, since I don’t really use them and I’m trying to be more financially independent and manage my own expenses.

That’s when things escalated.

She got upset and said I was being unreliable and that I had agreed to pay before (which is true — but I’ve since changed my mind after thinking about my finances more). She then told me that if I want to “be independent,” I shouldn’t use anything she pays for at all (household items, etc.), and even suggested she could start charging me for those things.

Later, she increased what I owe her to $350 every two weeks.

She also said things like she has no one to depend on and brought up personal things (like her own parent passing), which made me feel guilty.

Now I feel confused because:

•	I’m trying to take responsibility and become independent

•	but it feels like I’m being punished for it

I also feel like I’m working just to give her money at this point.

For additional context, she has been controlling in other ways before (showing up places if I don’t respond, pressuring me to come home, etc.), so this isn’t totally new behavior.

Am I in the wrong here?

Is this normal for living at home as an adult, or is this controlling behavior?