Exfoliation post hair removal tips?

Hello! 29F here (not sure if it matters), I'm free esperate to hear your tips & tricks on exfoliation please!!!

Some context: I've been shaving my legs and arms for years, with discreet results but my hair would grow back by the end of the same day, therefore I've started waxing about a year ago.

With shaving I'd get a couple of ingrown hairs here and there but with waxing oh man... I have strawberry/chicken skin with bumps and ingrowns everywhere!

I've tried using any type of physical scrub (bad bad idea), chemical exfoliation like glycolic acid (the toner by the ordinary), salicylic acid, urea creams... But nothing seems to work!

What do you do in order not to get ingrowns and bumpy/rough skin?

Is this usual for people with EDS? I asked both my GP and geneticist and neither of them could give me an answer.

My dermatologist is pretty much useless cause she brushed it off and told me to "just get laser treatment", as if it was cheap.