Update after nearly 6 years. ''Mother [42F] who abandoned us in middle of the night came back after 16 years''
I don't know if it's the postpartum hormones or not, but I had my third son 3 weeks ago and have been thinking about my post from years ago and the people who replied. You validated my feelings and even shared your own traumas to lighten my load. I just wanted to share my story with you guys.
That night, I left to stay at my aunt’s place. A few days later, my mother came to see me. For the first time, she wasn’t evasive. She looked at me fully, spoke honestly, and said she felt undeserving of the joy she now felt. She promised that if her presence was too difficult, she wouldn’t visit the farm again. She told me that this was my home more than anyone else’s. Then she said, teary-eyed, that no matter what path I chose, no matter the decisions I made in life, even if I hated her, she would always love me and be there for me. Hearing her say that made something inside me soften. I think I forgave her that day, though I didn’t let myself admit it. I returned home that day.
I finally stopped making excuses and accepted my boyfriend’s proposal (really long story). We married, and my dad moved in with my mom, leaving me the farm and his truck. I have three sons now, still struggling to believe I could fit three pregnancies into five years. After my first pregnancy, my father and mother started staying around to help. Things became less awkward, and I got used to her presence.
The real change happened after I brought my first son home. I was lying on my bed, whispering to him that I would never leave him and that he’d always have me. I saw her watching from the door, silently crying. Something in me finally gave in. I cried for an hour as she hugged me. I don't even remember much about what we said to each other... but at the end, it felt like finally sitting down after a long day of exhausting work.
I missed her so much as a child, but I always felt shame for it. This time, I didn't feel shame. Until that moment, she was always “you” when I was speaking with her and “she” when I was speaking about her, but after that, it wasn’t awkward or forced to call her "Mom" again. I don't know why or how, but weirdly enough, that's how I started calling her Mom again.
She’s now a doting grandma, trying to relive the moments she missed with my brother by helping me with my boys. I never told my brother about the note she left in my notebook. I realized that if she was truly remorseful, there was no point in revealing it other than sadistic pleasure, and I didn't want to hurt him for something out of his control.
To those who validated my feelings six years ago: Thank you. I still think my younger self would be angry, but I would tell her the same thing Mom told me: that no matter what path she chooses, I will love her all the same and be there for her. I’m happy with my decision now. I tried to keep this as short as possible. Thank you so much. Those months leading up to the “post night,” and especially the three or four days until my mother came to visit me at my aunt's place, were very dark times for me. Your messages helped me more than I can express via words (especially you, u/ConstanziaCorleone).
Thank you and stay safe.
Posted May 6, 2026, 9:41 PM UTC · locked