Building connections with family

Most of the AT help that is out there focuses on romantic relationships. But I need something else.

I am an FA who has fought tooth and nail to lean finally secure when it comes to my romantic relationship. But I recently realized that I get deactivated easily around my family. I was never abused as a child, inconsistent love was the issue. Hence my fearful avoidance.

But I am tired of blaming parents who were probably the products of systems that raised them too, plus other contributors to their inadequate love to their kids. I want to start building a secure relationship with my parents now and I need some advice.

How could I do it? How does it differ from repairing your attachment style with your romantic partner?