Becoming Estranged from Dad

I think i just need some general advice and support for this one. Long story short, my (23f) parents (63m & 53f) are divorcing and its been awful, mainly because my dad is an abusive PoS. Set as NSFW due to the triggering topic.

Ive tried to retain some relationship because I was always his favourite (i have a 21yo sister also) and I thought he genuinely cared. I started to notice he would only ring when he needed help with his phone or if my mums solicitors had sent him divorce letters. He tried to brain wash me against my mum to start, but one night he rang me to say he didn't need me and he was going to end himself (he didnt and ive told him to get help but he refuses, I suspect if my mum had stayed longer he could have become a family annihilator due to his violence.)

Yesterday, he rang me to yet again ask me to book a blood test as he refuses to learn himself. He picked up that i was bothered by him and we started to have a very heated discussion. Everytime he texts me or calls it ruins my mood and fills me with dread. He text me to apologise but I know its because he has no one else to do his life admin. I feel guilty but at the same time ive always been terrified of him and doesnt actually know me. The reason hes alone is because of his own behaviour. He had also told me he wont go to my wedding unless the whole of my mums family arent there! I have no contact with my dads family because theyre all weird and toxic.

Just feel like i am a horrible daughter. I wish he would disappear from my life and I feel guilty because I know people would say "hes still my dad" etc, but ive never felt safe or loved by him.

Tl:dr im cutting out my abusive dad and feel guilty. Need some advice