[Text post] Me and Mulrock the Magnificent
There’s an arena at the Waterfront here in Rhyhan. Throngs of people gather every day to watch people fight animals, each other, or to watch a few beasts be forced into blood sport against their will and instincts. It’s definitely for glory for all the meatheads and fools who rush in there to fight. They frequently have big melees (where spellcasting is not allowed) to see who the last man standing is. As a side note, I’m against the regular animals being forced to fight for the death, but I rolled out of my seat laughing when someone enchanted a shark to swim through the air and eat people. That was funny. Anyway, that member of the Sun’s Warriors I etch runes for, Mulrock the Magnificent, got it into his head that he would go to the arena to fight for honor and glory. We tried to tell him that, as part of the royal guard force, he isn’t allowed to take home any prizes from the arena. Mulrock gave me a look and said he’d rather be perforated throughout all the hells for eternity than pass up a chance for glory.
So, I got a call right after that someone needed help healing a wound. They said it was because it was caused by a malfunctioning orb installed by someone from the Golden Eagle Mages Guild—of which I am a part—and they specifically requested someone from the guild do repairs. With Mulrock out of my hair and ahead on my rune engravings, I went to go see who needed help. I took a coach from Old Town to just outside the Vaulted Enclave, and who do I see but possibly the sexiest mage alive. I had a moment of panic at the look I received, swallowed some air, and approached. Apparently, all this mage wanted from me was to yell at someone from the guild because their crystal caused a housefire. The thing was full on glass and the light hit it weird and caught a drape on fire. I tried to tell this stupidly attractive individual that I’m not a regular repairman and I can’t do carpentry to fix some scorches in the bracing of a wall, and I’m not a stonecutter or mason to fix the foundation, and I can’t power wash it either. (I hate water spells.) That answer wasn’t good enough and a demand for reimbursement was issued, and that’s about when I put my gentlemanly behavior behind me and said that if you don’t want either dwimmered daemons from beyond the veils of the unreal or refracted light to destroy your house, then just throw a blanket over the damn thing like a normal person. I got turned into a frog basically instantly. Unfortunately for this dumb scrub, I’ve been suffering from my psyche being fragmented by the unrelenting horrors of both heaven and hell, so I wasn’t really fazed by being transmogrified. The polymorph only lasted a few minutes before I changed back and cranked out a spell I haven’t done in awhile, and decided to teach them some manners.
Seems that deplorable shopkeep has been making enemies all over. I got a message from a familiar about a ping on orbnet, and learned one of the Suburban Desert Druids has ben stricken with a pox of some kind. You know, I have a lot of respect for druids, because while their power isn’t arcane, they work for it. They show devotion and work around countless restrictions for their art, and as a journeyman mage who hasn’t actually declared a specialized field, working around stopgaps and shortcomings feels relatable. Knowing a druid, however, they probably have access to ‘remedies’ that would send me to that shit dimension called Earth.
No one likes Earth. Not even the Earthlings.
When I got back to the workshop, Fabius tells me Mulrock hasn’t returned. I got interested in how the fight goes, so I go in the afternoon after sterilizing the workshop goblins to see how things are going in the arena. I didn’t even get halfway there when I saw what I thought was a pirate invasion. Nope, it was Mulrock the Magnificent telling everyone about the fucking sun. With a hammer. And 1 picosecond of power from the sun’s core. They called the aurors and the other Sun’s Warriors to drag him out by his feet. He was recorded saying that he would be the hammer of justice to destroy that which grips the city by the loins before they gave him some horse tranquilizers and a scripture and wheeled him off. I swear, this city gets weirder by the day.
Chapter 1 - Introduction to Rhyhan
Posted May 31, 2026, 7:36 AM UTC