[Text post] I have learned a dark, sinister truth.
As anyone likely knows, I’m a mage in Rhyhan, the City on the Lake. I work for the Golden Eagle Mages Guild and am assigned to the barracks of the Sun’s Warriors, who are part of the royal guard for the Count at Castle Rhy. As a journeyman mage, I do enchanting, glyph inscription, rune engraving, and apply some healing and abjuration here and there. Recently, one of the head paladin warriors of the order, Mulrock the Magnificent, stepped into a teleporter and went on a rampage wherever it is he landed. Knight commander Hyrall from Castle Rhy pulled some names out of a hat and sent me to go find Mulrock and bring him back by any means necessary.
Now, I’m a spellblade, my healing, enchanting, and alteration are all really good, and I have a few offensive tricks up my sleeve… but Mulrock the Magnificent is a gods-damned nearly-immortal lunatic. A red dragon expelled both of its flame bladders on him, and he only got kind of toasty (but that might just be a trick of his resistance to heat.) Mulrock then singlehandedly turned a host of exhausted knights, mercenaries, wizards, pirates, ninjas, clerics, druids, and viking marauders into the gods-damned Avengers and smote the dragon. One time, Mulrock got kicked into the actual realm of death, then walked back (there is not footpath back.) He and I are not on the same level combatively.
But I do know the spell Jingle Keys, so I thought I could lure him back to the city.
I followed Mulrock to a citadel I did not bother getting the name of, and a few powerful spellcasters not only survived the attack, but they also each ran into Mulrock at some point. First, I followed the lead of an unnamed mage. I don’t know if they’re untitled, haven’t declared a title or specialization, or are in hiding, but I didn’t ask questions. These acolytes need their screaming empowered sugar baby back. I was directed to the incendiary crystals they keep to attack invaders, but seeing as Mulrock doesn’t get hurt by fire of nearly any earthly temperature, he must not have been killed. I did see where Mulrock walked through a wall, though.
Then, someone thought they ran into Mulrock. This powerful necromancer in the city (they must have excellent union laws to just have necromancers) pinged me over my orb and I pinged them back. When I showed up, they threw an orb at me containing a tiny little man. Looking inside, it was definitely a paladin. You can tell paladins apart from regular knights and other warriors because their massive shoulder guards each weigh as much as the rest of their armor combined.
But this guy’s name was Hicksor. He is a paladin, and he does have an emblem of the sun on his surcoat, but this guy is a member of the Sunlight Warriors. Completely different faction with completely different divine abilities. Hicksor throws lightning javelins, calls on the force of the gods’ wrath, and can heal his wounds by praying. Mulrock doesn’t do any of that; his visage is masked by the infinite power of the cosmos, his strength is that to hurl worlds through space, and he opens portals to the literal sun and floods the next few square miles with plasma.
I didn’t free Hicksor, though. I’m keeping him on my person in case I need backup.
I followed up on another lead and a message from Tox the Fleshcrafter. What an amazing city this must have been that they have fleshcrafters, necromancers, warlocks, sanguinemancers and bone mages (did Mulrock wander into an undead citadel?) Fixated on his arena loss, Mulrock the Magnificent went to their arena and started using his divine-given powers to strike down normal, everyday gladiators. Tox saw that and banished him to the donut dimension, which I thought was torn down due to having an infinite world wrap that lets you build up unlimited momentum from falling. The bakers at Darkling Donuts told me that was why they wouldn’t sell me anymore, but lo and behold, I follow the coordinates and what do I find?
Mulrock the fucking Magnificent falling at double terminal velocity, covered in donut crumbs and sprinkles. The donut dimension isn’t torn down! I’m taking Mulrock right back to Rhyhan and we’re going to Darkling Donuts and I’m going to point him at them and tell him they lied to me about the donut dimension! This is an outrage!
#I LOVE DONUTS!
Chapter 1 - Introduction to Rhyhan
Posted Jun 2, 2026, 9:19 PM UTC