[973] Isolde, the first star

Critiques: number 1, number 2, number 3

I am currently in a doodle phase in between larger stories. In this link it my introduction to a story that might run longer.

Isolde, the first star

This is a translation of the Dutch work (with a few edits) that I wrote before (translation was done by hand).

I am most interested in feedback on:

• Style - is it enjoyable or not?
• Character voice (distinct and clear?)
• Pacing and word use from the narrator
• Clarity of world building.

I am also open to other forms of critique, of course. I'm curious what you think of it.

(If you would like to read it in Dutch (either because you speak Dutch, or have a morbid curiousity in my language, Isolde, de eerste ster))