53 [M4F] #Detroit - Muffdiving Internship Application

The job/Muff Diving market is tough out there. They say it takes 6-12 months to find a good job/Muff to Dive Partner but a well written, targeted application for an internship to prove myself to a muff owner.

So, here goes:

Seeking a rewarding position as a muff diver for a smart, funny, opinionated/empowered organization…I mean, muff owner.

Proficiency skills:

- equally fluent in English and sarcasm

- dadbod (but able to muff dive in any position)

- experienced (as opposed to old)

- 5’9” (and shrinking)

- can turn on a PC but needs alcohol to turn on a potential muff owner (this would be after working hours, of course

- closely trimmed beard (no concern for thigh abrasions)

- excellent communication skills: fluency in telegram, WhatsApp, and Reddit

- excellent work ethic…willing to dive for as long as it takes to get the job done

- soft skills: self deprecation, awkward/dark humor, useless trivia (especially movies)

- glasses (that will come off during MD activities)

- adaptable: will change technique to suit muff owner preferences

- equal opportunity muff diver / do not discriminate based on age, race, or muff grooming style

Would be happy to submit both online and in person interviews. Able to start immediately. Look forward to hearing about this exciting opportunity.