how do i get a boyfriend, im extremely lonely. this is not a post begging for an online boyfriend on here, dont take it that way, im asking for advice about my actual life.

how do i get a boyfriend? i’m really shy and really scared of rejection. i’ve had a few guys hit on me but i didn’t find them attractive. i had one guy hit on me who i did actually find attractive and ended up in a situationship with him for a few weeks but he felt too uncomfortable about the age gap since im 15 going into sophomore year and he’s 17 graduating, and he starting dating a girl and he stopped talking to me. i never really ever hit on any guys myself since im very shy. the one time i did i dmed a guy from my school and he was nice, didn’t flat out reject me but he said he just wasn’t looking to talk with anyone right now. i’m at the point where im genuinly considering just dming every boy who i find attractive in my area around my age on like an alt account without my face on it until one of them shows interest and then i could show my face. im just that desperate. i mean, im not unattractive but im not like extremely attractive either. guys like me but it’s never ones who are my type. the last time i had a boyfriend a year and a half ago i had to force myself to like him just because i was desperate to be loved, but i couldn’t look him in the eye because i would get grossed out looking at him because i didn’t like how he looked. i ended up ghosting him after like 7 months because i couldn’t take it anymore. i feel terrible about that, and learnt that i cant date someone i find unattractive just because im desperate for love, its not right to force myself to be attracted to someone and lead them on like that. i know this post is probably going to make me seem like some narcissist jerk with a big ego, but i just need to find someone who i also find physically attractive as i dont want to make the same mistake again. its not fair for the guy. once i like someone though i get really terrible attachment issues. i’m worried if i ever did get with someone i liked it would be extremely terrible for me when they left and id go down a terrible depressing rabbit hole. i’m just very very desperate for love right now and it’s one of the main things i want so badly. i feel lonely, unattractive, replaceable and unlovable. i spend all my time doing drugs and making my life even worse, causing my friends to leave me for being an addict and making me feel even more lonely. i want a guy to love me despite my issues. does anyone have any tips, please i need advice. and no, please do not take this post as me begging someone on here to be my boyfriend, i am not interested in online dating.