I believed in having a birth plan until a actually gave birth

I’m semi crunchy + wholeheartedly wanted an all natural, unmedicated non medical intervention birth. I wanted relaxing music, twinkle lights, aromatherapy. UNTIL I GAVE BIRTH! I was 40+3 days pregnant when my water broke, never went into labor. 12 hours later I went to the hospital. I had pills to get my cervix going, I was 0 cm dilated. It took 4 days to go into labor after cervadil + pills(who knows) + pitocin. Luckily I went into labor. PAINFUL induced labor. I screamed and begged for an epidural after no sleep + no relief for days of contractions but never being dilated enough. My epidural never worked. They gave me a bolus, nothing. Still in pain. I could feel myself pooping on the bed. There was a spotlight on my hooha. I pushed in every direction, position for 3 hours. The baby’s head was stuck. I had 3 more contractions with assistance of a vacuum. They asked episiotomy? NO! (I wish they did) they said if I can’t get her out now, it was c section time. I pushed with no dignity. I didn’t care. There was 15 people in the room. I made noises as if I was a slaughtered animal. I did not care. I lost a liter of blood from lacerations, they did not stitch me up correctly, I’m lopsided. I saw my baby girl + all was right in the world ❤️ going forward, I do not care about twinkle lights or aromatherapy.