anyone who feels they aren't where they want to be, and wouldn't get into a relationship till they are where they wanna be at even if it means it might never happen?

financial independence, getting out of the constant mental and emotional exhaustion, the nihilism, the cynicism, the cringe at seeing displays of affection and emotional constipation to the point of achieving numbness, the feelings that a therapists non analytical solutions don't work for you, at the end you fix yourself.

I feel like at this point, I'm just seeing my life go day by day to see what life has to offer for me, do my best and then realise my best is actually mediocre. Not the brightest mind of the country, not the hottest chick, not someone coasting with daddy's money, someone who has to build shit from scratch, I don't have energy for anything. I don't feel happiness in anything that kids my age like and I've tried but after doing a hobby my brain goes "okay you did xyz, now what?"

I think I'm totally empty now, at 21.

I'm empty to the point that even su*c*de doesn't rationally make sense to me, it feels pointless.