The fracture (4/idk)

Okay, I know I said I was going to post a double chapter this week, but Jesus, I barely made it to Saturday without getting postal...

Guess who's back after being gone for a long time...

That's right, it's our friend Incognito42O69.

Yep, our editor is back.

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Memory transcription.
Subject: Lonele, junior exterminator of Venlil Prime.
Date [standardized human time]: September 22, 2136.

Ever since I arrived at this place, the heavy feeling in my body has only gotten worse the more I get to know Yuki. And the problems keep getting heavier; my trouble sleeping has worsened, it’s getting harder to gather the energy to do things, and a sense of guilt eats away at me all the time. But this guilt isn't like before, now it appears every time I try to do my job... and it's all thanks to that predator.

Well, at least there were no bird sounds or that deafening silence that tormented me on Venlil Prime.

Lately, she has been trying to spend more and more time with me. She always finds an excuse to get me out of the room, as if she wanted to keep me busy with something. And somehow, she always manages to interrupt the moments when I most want to be alone; she seemed tireless, even for a normal person.

How was she able to have so much energy for so long?

I talked about it with Ke'tal. He says I shouldn't give it any importance; that she is only imitating the empathetic responses of other prey around her to build trust. Even so... there is something that doesn't fit. She always shows up right when I start to lose feeling in my own body. I've never told her. She has never been able to see it. So... how does she know?

While I was lying in bed with my mind blank, I could see Yuki entering through the door in my peripheral vision, nervously clutching a Venlil fur comb.

"Inhale. Exhale. Alright, remember what that Venlil counselor told you," Yuki said in a barely audible whisper.

"Good awakening, Lonele. Er... you see, in my job I'm very used to dealing with the fur of various kinds of animals. And I was wondering if you would like me to comb your hair... I-I mean, if you want to, I don't want to pressure you too much into doing something so personal." Yuki's voice was just as nervous and a bit rushed as always.

"Why do you say that?" I said while forcing myself to get up, and my body responded with the politeness I had been practicing for a long time, even though my mind was still completely empty.

"W-well, not to be rude or anything, it's just that your fur is full of knots and has some food scraps on it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not insulting you. I-it's just that I've heard other Venlils talk about their own grooming..." she replied while clinging to that comb.

Looking down at my own body, I realized that it was covered in food scraps and several fairly large knots... And since when was my fur like this? Huh, it seems I forgot to groom my fur for a while... again. But the idea of letting a predator be so close to me left me a bit uneasy. But if someone is going to take care of it for me, what does it matter? It's not like I have a lot of energy right now.

I gave an affirmative flick of my tail without realizing it, and she kept her head static in my direction for a while before apparently understanding the gesture and looking for a small stool. It was a bit difficult to know what she was thinking with that mask covering her not-at-all terrifying face.

"A-alright! Let me take care of your fur," she said in a warmer tone as she pulled a stool close to her.

Reluctantly, I got out of my bed and sat on the stool Yuki had pointed out.

"D-do you mind if I cut some parts of your fur? I-it's just that some knots are so big that not even a comb could get them out," she stuttered before placing her strange paws on my fur.

"Whatever you want..." I replied in an expressionless tone.

And Yuki started working on my fur; even in the deteriorated state it was in, she always managed to be gentle and not hurt me whenever she found a knot.

"Y-you know... Lonele, I know you don't like leaving our room much and mostly do it because I force you to... and... well, I'd like to spend more time with you, you know? Enjoy each other's company while we're in this exchange program. ... I-I know the feeling isn't mutual—." She stopped dead when the comb hit an unexpected knot.

The tug made me flinch in pain.

"M-my apologies, I didn't expect to find such a big knot there!" she exclaimed, quite embarrassed.

"A-as I was saying, I'm really looking forward to getting to know you and I want to make an effort to understand you and be friends... that would make me very happy. Ah— b-but don't think I'm forcing you, I wouldn't want you to feel obligated to be my friend just out of pity." She paused to take out a spray bottle and wet my fur.

"So far, we haven't talked much about ourselves... I barely know anything about you... And I'd like to get to know you better, so I'll start." Right after that, my body tensed up, because a part of me was expecting some kind of interrogation.

"D-did I c-catch another knot? S-sorry about that. I'm trying to be as gentle as possible, but I keep finding knots... W-well, as I was saying. I was born in a city called Ulan-Ude, in Russia, and a couple of years ago I moved to the country's capital, Moscow, for work... I... sometimes miss it, I miss its cold, its forests, and my parents. And er... what about you?" she said, completely nervous.

But before I could move my mouth, I reconsidered. Why was I supposed to answer? This was supposed to be an interrogation, not a conversation. No. NO. These kinds of scenarios were described in the list Ke'tal had given me. I hadn't even realized she had already made her first move. Give her absolutely nothing. Don't give her information, that's what she wants.

"... You didn't have to answer that. ... I'm sorry." She sighed, somewhat defeated.

The rest of the grooming passed in silence. Yuki kept working on my fur gently, but she no longer tried to make conversation... And that... Strange as it may seem, made that heavy feeling feel even worse.

After that, everything changed a bit. She no longer insisted I join her for meals, or look for some other excuse to get me out of the room.

Silence took over the room once again. For a long time, the only thing that could be heard was the constant hum of the ship's systems.

Finally, Yuki got up from the table. "I-it's getting a bit late... I think it would be best to go to sleep," she said, looking down. I didn't answer, and Yuki took it as a yes. "Goodnight, Lonele," she continued. And now, the room was completely dark.

But I still couldn't sleep... as always, but now, it wasn't for the same reasons. Now I could only think about Yuki, about everything that had happened.

While lying in the top bunk, I could only think about how Yuki had been acting lately, how she always tried to get me out of my room, or how she always seemed to make an effort to spend time with me. And I... Every time Yuki tried to get to know me a little more... I responded by telling things about her to strangers.

I quickly shook my head, trying to push those thoughts away. That was clearly another desperate attempt to manipulate me. Guilt, she just wanted me to feel guilt so I would let my guard down... I swallowed hard thinking about it.

I turned on my DataPad to do the daily report, only to feel an immense pang of guilt creep up my back... with every word I typed, that feeling of guilt got heavier and heavier, to the point where my fingers felt too heavy. And before pressing "Send", I felt something churn in my stomach. My claws deleted the entire report almost by instinct.

The next second I was already running to the bathroom. After coming out of the bathroom, I could see that Yuki had woken up from all the commotion.

Without her mask, I could see the Human's face again, and it was absolutely normal. So much so, that just thinking she was a predator made the urge to vomit swirl in my stomach.

Guilt was eating me up inside, like a flame slowly consuming me.

"Are you okay?" she said, half asleep.

"I—" My mouth moved on its own before I could snap it shut.

Ke'tal's list kept fluttering in my head endlessly.

Giving her information was the last thing I could do. I shouldn't. Not after everything I had learned, not after everything Ke'tal had taught me.

But that same feeling of guilt pushed me to do something, anything that could relieve that weight.

I let out a long, shaky sigh while clenching my paws tightly, preparing to do something I would regret.

I couldn't help but hunch over myself. My stomach felt completely churned, and my paws were shaking so much that I had to press them against my fur.

"I-I... I live in... Stargazer," I said, vomiting my words.

And then, I waited... I waited to see some gesture of sickly satisfaction from the predator, but it never came.

What I received was just a confused and somewhat sleepy look.

"O-oh, w-well, I'd like to know about your hometown... Do you want to talk about it?" she asked while rubbing her eyes.

I simply gave, shyly, an affirmative gesture with my ear.

"Alright, ugh... wait a moment while I put on my mask—" Yuki didn't manage to finish the sentence when I interrupted her.

"There's no need for that, I'm not afraid of your face," I replied, still embarrassed.

She stood motionless for a few moments, as if I had said something that threw her off, and then she awkwardly got up from her bed to turn on the small table lamp before sitting back down on her bed.

"U-um... if you don't mind... Do you want to sit down?" she said while gently patting the bed.

Sitting next to her made my heart skip a beat. Being so close to a predator was something I wouldn't wish on anyone.

However, the pressure that had been squeezing my chest for days didn't worsen. If anything... it became a bit lighter.

After sitting next to her, the conversation progressed awkwardly at first. I responded with short sentences, and most of the time it was Yuki who tried to keep it alive.

Without realizing when it happened, I ended up talking about Stargazer; about how I nostalgically remembered that city, how happy I had been at the orphanage, and the times I sneaked out to visit HomeTown.

Yuki listened to every word I said as if it were sacred knowledge. She barely dared to interrupt me, as if afraid to break something fragile.

I don't know at what point my head began to feel heavy or when I leaned against the wall; much less when Yuki ran her skillful paws through my fur.

Memory transcription.
Subject: Lonele, junior exterminator of Venlil Prime.
Date [standardized human time]: September 23, 2136.

Upon waking up, I felt strangely light... It was the first time in a long while that I didn't feel tired when getting up.

Prrrrrrrr.

Huh?

I heard that sound again.

Prrrrrrrr.

It took me a few moments to recognize it.

Was that... my purring?

I hadn't heard it in over a year.

I blinked a few times before taking a better look around me, and it was then that I realized there was something warm holding my head.

As I brought my surroundings into better focus, I discovered that I was resting on the human's shoulder, who was still completely asleep.

It didn't take long for my mind to short-circuit.

How, in the name of the gods, had I ended up sleeping next to a predator!?

Slowly I tried to pull away without waking the human, only to receive the bitter awakening of my back and neck, immediately complaining about my terrible choice of a place to sleep.

I had to hold back a small whimper as I awkwardly sat up.

Being careful not to move the bed too much, I got down to the floor and headed to my own bunk to look for my DataPad...

But was I really looking for it to do my report?

When I climbed into my bed, I saw my DataPad there with dozens of missed calls, all of them from Ke'tal, and a small pang of guilt crept up my spine as I remembered the betrayal I had committed.

When I finally returned his call, Ke'tal answered almost instantly.

"For the love of the Protector, Lonele! Do you have any idea how worried I was about you when I didn't receive your paw-report?!" he said in a frantic voice.

A knot formed in my throat. With what face was I going to talk to Ke'tal after what I had done last night?

I opened my mouth.

I expected to tell the truth almost automatically, like I always did, but nothing came out...

I hesitated.

I genuinely hesitated to tell the truth to the one I considered a role model, to someone who sacrificed many things to protect me, and that scared me.

And out of panic, all I could do was improvise words.

"I-I'm sorry, I fell asleep halfway through the report," I said while trying with all my might not to hyperventilate.

"Hmm... that's a relief, for a moment I thought those horrible beasts had devoured you, and tell me, what else have you gotten out of this 'Yuki' person?" he said with that mocking tone he used whenever he referred to her.

"N-nothing, sir. Yesterday she spent all day in bed d-doing nothing, unlike the other days, and... and out of boredom I fell asleep." My voice had never been this nervous before.

"Okay... well, you better be very alert to any sign of danger, alright? You are very important to me," he said in a cooing tone before hanging up.

My breathing became increasingly erratic as the weight of my actions crashed down on my conscience.

I had lied to Ke'tal.

To Ke'tal!

And why?!

What for?!

"You are very important to me."
"You are very important to me."
"You are very important to me."

Ke'tal's words started swirling in my mind as everything around me began to spin.

My throat burns.

I feel very dizzy.

But a pair of firm hands grabbed my shoulders and snapped me out of my trance.

Little by little, the world stopped spinning.

The first thing I saw was a pair of eyes fixed on me.

It was Yuki; the expression of concern on her face was so deep that it was hard to believe she could fake something like that.

"Oh my God, Lonele! A-are you okay? You scared me to death when I heard you throwing up from down below. ... D-do you feel better now?" Her voice was laden with fear and confusion in equal parts.

Her paws held my shoulders firmly, but it didn't hurt. It was strong enough to feel her strength, but delicate enough not to hurt me.

I just gave her a weak affirmative ear flick while tasting the bitter flavor across my snout from having vomited...

On my bed, there was only stomach bile, without any recent food scraps.

"... 
S-sorry, for acting like this... i-it's just that you scared me so much," she continued awkwardly as she quickly let go of my shoulders.

After a long silence, I felt the need to say something, but I knew exactly what to say... and after thinking about it a bit, I finally opted for something simple.

"It's okay... you were helpful... 
Tell me, do you want to go get something to eat?" I finally said.