Taking my life seriously because I'm a grown ass man (kinda)
I've been a part of this subreddit for a long time, and I've just never been too great at it.
It's not that I've never taken it seriously, because I really have. I've disappointed myself time after time and eventually got used to the sting of guilt (just like discovering PMO for the first time).
I'm posting this to give myself accountability. Hopefully this strikes a chord with at least one other person. An issue I'm facing in life right now is an inability to perform sexually. It's too late to realize that my unhealthy relationship with my own sexuality has something to do with it.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't angry with myself for giving into pornography. It's been that long and now it's just a matter of rational thinking.
I don't want to watch porn ever again. At one point I was quitting for God, then I was quitting for myself, and now I'm quitting for my girl. She deserves a man who is exactly what he claims to be, nothing more or less. I'd be embarrassed to tell her the truth, and I'm just as embarrassed to be living it.
I'm so fucking done.
Posted Jan 15, 2014, 5:41 AM UTC
You don't need a reason to quit. You need a reason to be the person you've always wanted to be. You deserve it. Not this self-hate bullshit that perpetuates itself.
It's partly one of those nights where I need to kick myself in the ass. I just want to be able to tell myself that porn isn't part of my daily/weekly life.
It is though. You can't really argue that it's not or you're shooting yourself in the foot, again. The key point is, you decide if it has to stay that way.
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