[4631] If Islands Were Conkers

Hello! I posted this opening chapter about a year ago, and the feedback was so good that I've decided to post it again following my latest round of edits. The ending especially is almost entirely different, so if there are any of you still lurking around from 12 months ago, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the changes (if, indeed, you remember the original at all). Regardless, all feedback is welcome — the nastier the better.

Here are the links:

[4631] If Islands Were Conkers (Comments Enabled)

[4631] If Islands Were Conkers (No Commenting)

And here are my critiques:

[3087] [2353] [1005] [1000]

I also have some questions that I'd be particularly interested to hear your thoughts on:

1. If you picked this up in a bookshop, at what point would you decide it's not your thing and move on? Why?
2. Did the tone work for you? This is what I'm having the hardest time nailing. I'm trying to balance whimsy, tragedy, and a bit of poo humour in the same chapter, and I'm honestly not sure how that's going to land with some people. On a similar note, did you think the tonal shift towards the end was effective?
3. Last time, most people seemed to have a hard time picturing the scene I was describing. I've tried to address this by frontloading the chapter with a more deliberate description of what's going on (specifically the third paragraph), but I'm wondering if this feels a little too heavy-handed. I also made more of an effort to explain the rules of conkers for any non-British readers. Let me know if you needed this, and if it felt natural within the text.
4. Speaking of conkers, this part was almost universally hated last time. I've tried to weave it into the main plot a bit more and trim it down as much as possible, but I'm still worried it reads as an indulgence that the story is yet to earn. It's tricky, because for reasons I won't bother explaining, this needs to happen early-doors to set up a few other story threads. Shit really hits the fan in the next few chapters, and it makes even less sense to try and force it in there, so I'm a bit stuck. Any ideas?
5. Did you like the POV? Would you be happy to read half of this novel from her perspective? (The other half is Cyril's, if you're interested).