[2541] Tyrantland - Chapter 2 (Colonial Fantasy)

Critique:

[2851] Jimmy

(PREVIOUS: Tyrantland chapter 1 + critiques)

Tyrantland Chapter 1

Hi all,

Got some great feedback on chapter 1 and satisfied on where it's got to. I'm not planning to publish all the chapters on the web, almost certainly just 1-3 to help with my portfolio samples.

I'm not looking for anything specific, and the first chapter is not required reading, although it would certainly help, I feel, to give context. If there was anything I wanted to know, it would be the effectiveness of the card game in this segment, especially considering that previous feedback expressed the need to truncate my card sections in order to keep reader interest high.

Any other feedback is appreciate, thank you!

Tyrantland Chapter 2