Damsel Causing Distress - Episode 14 (19) - More Questions, Worse Answers
Note: My (mis)adventures are part of a bigger series, but I wrote my tales in the format of an episodic T.V. show, where you can read an episode without the context of the others and still enjoy it. If anything, reading it out of order may be more fun. - A sore loser, Theseus
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Thankfully the people following us were just paparazzi, unfortunately that meant we couldn’t shoot them (legally). Though, they were easy to outrun, so things evened out. One of the many boring things I’ve skip over when I write this is all the meandering from point A to B. Not running away, that's funny, it’s the meandering.
At first, due to the nerves, and just plain awkwardness we walked mostly in a pleasant, exhausted silence. However, the question game, along with Ludus’ dirty joke really broke the ice, along with Scout and I ears’ virginity. So, after we outran the press, and made our way over to the blocks set for demolition, for once it was actually something worth writing down.
“What number are we on?” Scout asked.
“Four.” Ludus stretched.
“Alright, who wants to go next?” Scout glanced at the two of us.
“I’ll go. Apart from working out, what are your other hobbies, Ludus?”
“Mhm, mostly camping and hiking. My family has quite a lot of land, and it’s one of the few things I can do alone. That, and spending most of my time on the internet…” Ludus' eyes wandered down at her last sentence.
“Well that does explain that.” I eyed at the shield on her back, which she didn’t even seem conscious of.
“Yes, it can come in handy sometimes, though I never suspected it would be for something like this.” She chuckled, “Five. Theseus what we’re your friends like growing up?”
Scout snorted.
“I didn't have friends plural growing up.” I said a bit too casually.
“No?” Ludus already looked heart broken. Uh-oh.
“Oh, nah, I was relentlessly bullied growing up.” I started the sentence at a normal speed, but as Ludus’ face dropped my words slowed at the same pace people do when they gawk at an accident on the street.
“What?” Ludus’ voice turned fragile.
“Oh, boy. This honesty thing really drags.” I cringed, “Yeah, nobody wanted to be friends with me, and I got beat up just about everyday until I was ten.” It does sound a lot worse when I say it out loud, I’ll admit that.
“I am so sorry.” Ludus grabbed my arm.
“I mean, yeah, but I do understand where they were coming from.” I tried to put out the fire.
“Really?” Her grip weakened.
“Well it’s not like it came out of nowhere, I was a total dick growing up. I always talked trash and I was never able to back it up. But the real problem was that I was too honest. If I thought someone was acting stupid, I would point it out. If someone called me short, I’d call them fat, ugly, stupid, and the reason why their parents were getting divorced.” I’m still sorry about that, by the way. I’ve also never heard Scout laugh that hard.
“Oh my stars.” Ludus dropped her hand.
“That’s not even the worst part.” Scout continued to laugh and smacked my shoulder, “Tell her the worst part!” She pointed at Ludus as she doubled over.
I held in a smile, “I was usually right.”
“What?” Ludus stopped walking entirely.
“I know, I don’t show it.” Hell for that matter, I don’t really write it much either, “But, I’m actually pretty observant. It’s why I’m a good P.I. I mean ever since I was a kid I noticed things other people didn’t. I just used it for evil is all.”
Ludus thought for a moment, before she forced herself to walk again. I could literally see her find the bright side at the moment, I swear I think her heart has rainbows and puppies in it.
“And, you are not angry at those who hurt you, and even empathized with them now.” Ludus went back to impressed.
“Listen, they shouldn’t have done it, but kids are stupid.” I shrugged.
“Yes, I suppose we all were.” Ludus searched the file cabinet of her own memories and nodded.
“Wait for it.” Scout finger shot up.
“And you know, I did have one friend growing up, and he was very good at fighting, so, the last time those kids tried to beat me up. Well, my whole life, they made me cry, but that day they lost a few teeth.” I giggled to myself.
“Oh.” Ludus stopped smiling. Which caused Scout to snicker even more.
“Six, Ludus, can you finally see why I don’t like him now?” Scout presented me to her like I was a new type of vacuum, still smirking.
“Wow, really wasted that sixth question.” The vacuum said.
Scout didn’t even bother with a comeback, and waved her arms even more wildly at me.
“No.” Ludus tried desperately to hide a cocky grin. “I know that in some regards we are particularly different.”
“I’ll say.” The vacuum interrupted.
“But, his character outweighs anything I would consider flaws. So I am afraid not Scout, I do not see why you do not like him, especially seeing how much time you spend with him.” The cockiness lessened to self satisfaction. “And I think he is cute.”
I flinched like I got punched in the liver. “I don’t like it when she compliments me, make it stop.” I shook my head out Scout.
“I’m trying bro, it’s not working.” She glanced at Ludus in a way that made it seem like she wasn’t even there, “I don’t know her problem.” Scout turned back to me.
I shrugged so far up I touched the hand of God.
“Seven.” Ludus' chest rose. “If you do not like Theseus, why are you around him so much, Scout?”
I shook my head like I got hit with another concussion grenade (been thinking of grenades lately). “I thought this game was about getting to know each other? How often does it devolve into a way of forcing people to be honest when you argue?” I whipped my head back and forth at them.
“Oh, like every time you play.” Scout said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Yes, it is expected.” Ludus agreed unpleasantly.
Scout and Ludus turned to each other, it was technically an argument. Technically in the sense it was like a puppy and kitten play fighting. The only party that would get hurt would be the poor fool who’d dare interrupt them. Resulting in scratch on the arm, or a soft bite from a maw of dull teeth.
“Like I said, when that woman drugged us. It’s not like Theseus, it’s that I love him, but like a *brother*. So, yeah, he's stupid, impulsive, and pisses me off.”
“Great.” I rolled my eyes.
“But, we have an understanding. A *platonic* understanding.” Scout put enough emphasis on the word platonic you could easily assume her life depended on it.
“You can lie to yourself all you would like, Mrs. Scrarcan, but you can not lie to me.” Ludus wagged her finger. The two were touching foreheads, and I wondered in the moment if that’s what the horns are for, but seeing as they went backwards above the ear, I doubted it.
They weren’t actually arguing of course, you should’ve seen them shopping. Scout just gained another sister, as did Ludus. The whole time they stared at each other the game wasn’t to win some pedantic, pretend argument, the goal was to see who didn’t laugh first.
Which Scout lost of course.
She burst out laughing and pulled away. The two sighed, Scout rolled her eyes still grinning, and Ludus put her hands to her hips.
“So, you really just see Theseus as a brother?” Ludus asked, but weirdly even more honest than before.
“Yeah.” Scout answered, the usual castle gate of her brain lowered.
“Then you are a stronger woman than I.” Ludus smiled.
“I liked it better when that fan fiction made you two gay.” I sighed.
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Author’s Note: Yay, group bonding.
Vaguely important second note: This series (for once), and bonus one shots are part of a writing challenge in which I write and post something every day until I finish writing the series. Thus being written like an episodic T.V. show.
Thanks for reading. :}
Day 19/ ?
Posted Aug 20, 2026, 3:10 AM UTC