Excerpt From ‘A Guide To Species’

Introduction

This list is in an arbitrary order, it’s made for the Human who is utterly confused about all the other species we have to try not to tick off. Along with important notes that make understanding the list easier. Feel free to skip around or skip this introduction entirely so you can get to the parts you actually need. I’ll do my best to keep it short because brevity is the soul of wit.

This is just the basics to make sure you're not exiled or get in a fist fight immediately. It will be updated periodically and frantically, mostly after international and intergalactic incidents we no doubt caused. So if you decide to treat this guide as an unchanging gospel you will be in for a bad time. This is for the most common species you’ll see around. If you see someone not on this guide and are wondering what the do’s and don’t are, ask them nicely, you savages. 

Remember, we already have a less than perfect reputation and the only way it gets better is to be overwhelmingly, frustratingly nice, that goes for all species. These are generalizations. So while most of them may be tall or short, blunt or coy. Not all of them. Like how we Humans aren’t all violent space monkeys, just most. In every way that matters we have more in common than we do differences. 

So remember, just because they’re aliens doesn’t mean they aren’t people. 

Fantasy Creatures

‘Fantasy creatures with a twist.’ I’ve heard once, and it's an apt description. Gruntas look like Orcs, Midrimdes look like lion people, Links have dragon horns, etc. Most species in the Council look Humanoid. 

Do not point this out. 

Not because it’s offensive, worse. You’ll get into a long-winded discussion, or argument if there are bystanders about whether or not billions of years ago some highly advanced precursors seeded the galaxy and that’s why we all look similar.

Don’t get into this argument, it’s closest relative would be bickering about religion, it’s imbecilic and guess what? Nobody even has the answer, or at least no one will agree on one. Whether the galaxy was seeded or that this was all an evolutionary coincidence is something we will in all likelihood never have the answer to. Most definitely not in our lifetimes. 

If you are forced into this situation just nod along, and pretend that it’s normal.

The Council

It has occurred to me that some of you may be children and don’t know what the Council even is. Don’t worry I won’t change how I write or treat you unintelligently. Second, some of you may be dumb adults, please refer to what I said about the children. 

The Council is essentially the Galaxy's space parents. To summarize a whole unit of history, Links made faster than light travel, explored the stars, found other species and made the Council. 
The Council is the government, everyone, everywhere learns Council Common in school, they have taxes, laws, and things of that dull nature. The government usually goes from local, state/provincial, then to the country, and finally the planet. The Council is above the planet. 

After we beat the Caelum Empire they were the ones who cleaned up the mess. The hilarious part is that everyone thinks they are incompetent. When you go to different planets where the Council has more sway you will soon agree. 

The reason it’s funny is because they’re not. They aren’t perfect, but they aren’t evil. With hundreds of planets and billions of aliens they do surprisingly well. But you know, the bus was late and there was a pothole, and the taxes are high, so everyone on the Council is an idiot. Obviously. 

Cultures

Like us, all species have more than one culture. The difference from a Gear to Legacy is obvious. Or like believing in the Eternal Blue Sky, Lady Luck or Jesus Christ. Different Species are the same way, however, to less of an extent than Humans. 

The Council and inter-species mingling has been going on for hundreds of years. So having such stark differences between your new peers makes you feel a lot closer to your own species. So, the shared ideas among one species got a lot stronger in response to the amount of new species that are meeting. 

People actively started looking for things every culture on their planet shared. Instead of a city or country, a whole planet would become a melting pot of cultures, all mixed together trying to find their thing in the galaxy. Everybody wants a distinct thing their species does the best in the Council. Then hundreds of years pass. 

So, it’s less that they don't have as many different cultures or countries compared to us. It’s just that the cultures they do have, contain a population that far exceeds ours, and are made up of what to us would be hundreds worth of different countries and cultures. 

They have less variety, but there are way more of them, and each type they do have is incredibly deep. 

Now, let’s finally get to how not to get beat up, or cause any more intergalactic incidents. 

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Author’s Note: I started this document December 28th, 2022 but just never got around to it. One of these days I need to actually finish it, and have all of the main species in my stories written down in one place. But today is not that day.

Vaguely important second note: This bonus one shot is part of a writing challenge in which I write and post something every day until I finish writing a series. I like having bonus chapters, which is why there is funny blue text at the bottom of the screen. But it is made to be enjoyed without reading the series.

Thanks for reading. :}

Day 20/ ?

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