The Offering - From The Madness Of The Number Man

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Part Three

“Listen Richard, I know I’m your principal and I understand that it can be a little intimidating being called into the office for no reason, but I want to assure you that I’m just a guy...just as human as anyone else. Do you understand?”

“Yes sir.” After the assembly Richard had heard his name called out over the speaker in his classroom only moments after he had sat at his desk. Petunia had actually darted her eyes toward him at the announcement, and the look of concern on her face was unmistakable. Richard’s heart had leapt into his throat, even though he had been called into the principal’s office many times in the past, because he had a feeling that this was going to be an office visit unlike any other. Richard inhaled deeply and stood up at his desk as if he was about to face a firing squad.

And now here he was sitting in front of Principal Avery, and the perfect looking man with the large nose was looming over his desk, looking more like a judge than a principal. Richard tried to find a focal point in the office to concentrate on, so that he wouldn’t have to look Principal Avery directly in the face and his eyes drifted down to the floor where he could just make out a hint of blue spots that were almost completely gone now. It was from a substance that Petunia had tested on an unaware Chris Keck that was called Trace-all, and according to Petunia, it had the curious effect of increasing saliva production in humans and non-humans alike. The stuff was invisible to most people, but to people who were “paying attention” as Petunia called it, it was as plain as the beak on Principal Avery’s face.

“Aren’t you curious as to why I called you into the office young man?” That voice was starting to turn Richard’s stomach almost as much as the sight of the man it belonged to.

“I don’t know.”

“I’m having a meeting with all of the students that might be at risk.”

“At risk?”

“It looks like you’ve gotten into a lot of trouble over the last two years Richard. I just want to make sure that you know what I expect of my students. I expect them to act responsibly and to do what they’re told. Do we have an understanding?”

“I guess so.” Richards' gaze on the Trace-all was broken by the sound of Principal Avery rising from his wooden chair. Richard looked up to see the man move around the desk, all the while keeping his eyes on Richard like some kind of predator who was getting ready to leap onto it’s prey. The man came to a stop directly in front of Richard and smiled down at him before he sat down on the edge of his desk. The man’s movements reminded Richard of watching water flow; even in his mind, the comparison was ridiculous and lame, but that’s what popped into his mind all the same.

“I want you to look at me Richard.” Richard took a breath and raised his eyes and looked into the eyes of Principal Avery. The man was smiling and Richard had never seen teeth that were quite so straight and almost a shade too white, and the large nose was moving. “Are you paying attention?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good. Now we can talk to each other like normal people. We’re normal people, aren’t we Richard?”

“Yes…. Yes, sir.” Richard couldn’t have said more if he had wanted to. The man’s nose was indeed moving slowly, and it became obvious to Richard that he was being smelled by his new Principal. It goes without saying that most people don’t go around smelling each other, that is rather something that an animal would do.

“I think there’s a lot more to you than most people think Richard. Do you know why that is?”

“No sir.” Principal Avery smiled wide and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and stood up off of the desk and knelt on the ground right next to Richard. Principal Avery took the handkerchief and wiped it clean of the last few spots of Trace-all. When he had finished, he folded the handkerchief neatly and placed it back in his pocket. Principal Avery sat back on the desk and smiled once again. Richard had felt the urge to shake from the fear that was growing in his gut, but he was doing his best to sit still and not look frightened.

“Because I’m someone who pays attention, Richard. I know what kind of a boy you are, and I’m giving you a chance. Please mind your studies. I think you’re a boy who needs to stray from extracurricular activities for a while, because they may just get you into a lot of trouble. Have I made myself clear?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good. Now go back to class.” Richard bolted up from the chair and moved with a purpose to the door. As he turned the handle, he didn’t look back when he heard the next few words that would stay in his thoughts for many hours to come. “We’re watching you, Richard.”

-

The walk home after school seemed longer than usual to Richard and even though Petunia was walking right next to him, he had never felt more alone. Principal Avery was someone or something to avoid at all costs, and even though Richard had tried to tell Petunia what happened during his meeting, she had only been half interested in what he was saying.

“Hey, I’m coming over to your house tonight.”

“No,  I don’t think so. Sorry Richard.”

“Petunia, seriously I am freaking out right now.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“Have you not heard a word I’ve said?”

“Yeah Richard, I heard everything.”

“Did I do something to make you mad?”

“No...it's just...no you can’t come over.”

“What do you mean I can’t come over?!”

“It’s just what I said Richard. I’m a little busy.”

“Yeah, well you’ve been busy for the past month, and you’ve hardly spoken to me.”

“Look I’m sorry ok...I have more important things to do.”

“Gee thanks Petunia. After everything I just told you, you have more important things to do?! You don’t even want to talk about it?”

“Not particularly, no.” They walked on in silence until they turned down their street, and as they neared their homes, Richard knew he only had only one more chance to appeal to Petunia.

“What about the tunnels? What about Gene? What about the thing that killed my father?!”

“Listen, I’m sorry, ok, but the glasses I asked you to take care of are gone, I can’t make you another pair, which means I’d have to take time and energy to explain things to you, and I don’t have the time to do that right now. Good night.”

“Are you serious?! Thanks a lot!” Petunia walked toward her house without saying so much as another word, and as Richard watched her leave, he could see Mrs. Gip standing in the front window. She was wearing a turtleneck sweater and gloves, which made Richard wonder if Petunia had even been ignoring the fact that her robot mother no longer had any skin from the neck down after the explosion at Hocus Pizza. She waved at Richard, and he noticed that in spite of the fact that she was a robot, her face looked haggard and drawn. He waved back and then watched her pull the curtain back in front of the window as Petunia walked through the door. He stood on the sidewalk in front of Petunia’s house thinking of all the events that had taken place over the last few weeks, and after a moment, he turned and looked across the street to his own house.

That awful black handprint had faded away from the top of his door, and the tree squirrel who lived in the maple tree in his front yard, whom he had named Carl, had quieted down over the last week. Ever since the day Richard’s father had vanished, Carl had engaged in his relentless barking every time Richard or his mother had entered their own home, but now, Carl merely sat out on his branch and stared at Richard, just as he was doing now. Richard hung his head and walked across the street to his house, but stopped at the foot of the maple and looked up.

“What’s up Carl? How’s life?” Carl cocked his head at the question and issued a single soft bark as a reply. “Oh, that’s too bad.” The squirrel gave another soft series of barks, and Richard began to wonder if the squirrel was actually speaking to him. Richard, in spite of being shunned by his friend, had followed her advice and guidance and began to try to pay more attention to things around him and view things from different perspectives. Although the thought of a tree squirrel being able to speak with humans was absurd to Richard, he entertained it nonetheless. A wind picked up and brought the smell of fall rushing into Richard’s nose and he watched the fur on Carl’s back stand up on end in response to it.

“Are you cold? Have you got enough to eat.” Carl barked softly back in response to the question. “Just wait right there buddy, I’ll be back. Unlike some people, I don’t ignore my friends.” Perhaps it was the feeling of utter loneliness that inspired Richard to walk behind his house and to the garden shed that his father had built, or perhaps it was out of sheer boredom, no one can be quite sure. Richard opened the small door to the shed and went straight to the large bag of bird seed in the right corner and scooped up a handful. He walked back to the front of his house and up to the foot of the maple tree.

“Here you go.” Richard tossed the heaping handful of seed onto the ground, and Carl perked up at the sight. The squirrel ran down the tree and into the middle of the small sea of seed. The bushy red animal with white streaks along his back and around his mouth looked at the delicious bounty that was scattered all about him and then he stood up on his hind legs and began a series of loud barks up to the sky and then sat on his hind quarters staring up at Richard.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Another wind picked back up, and with the sound of it came other sounds from all about Richard. He watched in disbelief as other squirrels ran down from other trees farther up and down the street. They all ran to the scattered seed and sat upon their hindquarters staring back at Richard. By the time the last squirrel had run over and taken an attentive posture at Richard’s feet, he had counted exactly forty-seven of them.

They were all staring at Richard, and Carl being the only one with small white streaks running through his fur and one milky eye was the only one Richard could distinguish from the rest. He barked a short series of sounds, and when he was finished, all of the squirrels flattened themselves on the ground. Richard scrunched up his eyes and scratched the top of his head whilst he looked at the forty-seven squirrels who seemed to be bowing down to him. Feeling more than a little strange and a small hint of embarrassment, Richard took a small step backward.

“Go ahead and eat guys.” At his command, all of the squirrels began to eat the seed on the ground. Richard looked up and down the street almost hoping that he would see someone else witnessing the scene in order to confirm to him exactly what was going on. That was a very important moment in the life of Richard Menkin, not only because of the implications it brought in regards to communicating with an animal, but also because it was the first time he had felt a sense of wonder and kindness since the day his father had been taken.

Of course, he had experienced quite a bit of wonder since the day he first came to Petunia Gip’s house, but those moments had brought with them a sliver of dread and danger; this moment was different, and it was also because of this moment that Richard’s life would be saved in just a few short weeks, of course he had no way of knowing that at the present time.

Feeling somewhat embarrassed at the whole scene, Richard turned and walked back into his house feeling an urge of determination wash over him. If Petunia wouldn’t let Richard come over, he was going to force his way over later that night. She was the only person that he could talk to about any of the events that had happened over the last few weeks, and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.