I stopped trying to make friends because I don't have anything to offer another person, at least in a material sense. But the truer truth is, being emotionally vulnerable with somebody when you're already mentally and emotionally unstable just feels reckless.

I realize im not in a sound position to have or maintain friendships when i can barely, lift up, support, be alone, defend and just overall be there for my own self. Im constantly feeling on edge, intense,uncomfortable and anxious.. its like my body feels like an exposed nerve.

Im very sensitive and vulnerable at the moment and I have been for a very long time; this issue has made it so i have placed my emotional regulation on to other people to manage, people pity me, they look at me in disgust, im often met with dismissivness and indifference.. nobody should have to feel like they have to walk on eggshells and babysit a 30 yr old..

I wanted friendships for a long time in my adult life, i didn't understand why people disappeared after a while and now i get it.

Im not fit for nor do I deserve to have a community and friends in my current emotional and mental state until I can get myself in order but until then its best if i work on myself and back off from people a bit

I have came clean and talked to people about this a they say im overreacting, insecure, doing too much..