will life change

Will life change, I regret I gave so much importance to love. I regret I was afraid to be alone. The past was scary for a woman who was without a man. So I swallowed my pride and remained with the person who didnt honor me for ten years.

I lost.

I must leave now. He is not here. He is gone in pune where you left him. I am sorry for your loss perhaps it was deep.

This is a transactional love and it isnt enough this may be the reality of the world and I dont need it I am not interested in experiencing this everyday an arrangement of sorts that I follow his duties of partner for some stablity and keeping a boyfriend.

He gets out of everything I tell him to do and he lets me cry alone too.

So now its gone. I must let it go. I must not hold onto

He has accepted he has no further issues with me now, but issues will arise and will he leave me then if I dont follow his ideas?

why live whwre you wont be missed

where people arent dependent on you

where people can wake one day and realise tou are too difficult to be with and leave you

you are setting yourself up for a failure

you are giving up on yourself

you are giving up

the person left you

a million times

you thought it was because you broke up and

you stayed

do not make the mistake of staying

where you are being judged for eating inside

why did you stay he asked

it looks like devil

tell me why

because you loved a person who wasnt there

you repented your leaving him

because you cannot ever find him

and because you wanted to submit like mira

and because no one loved you back

not as you wanted

and thats what he said

and perhaps you dont know

you stayed for the comfort of having a bf in this cold bitch world

and not for love

you fool

why are you worried now he is out there enjoying with his friends should he been here with you climbing mountains?

you gave him what he needed because he said it was only human and else he will leave and you stayed thinking you are wise and you were disrepected everyday and your heart broken every fucking day of pain

so if there is pain yoh will leave
and if they affect your ambition you will leave

and look hard is he there

no he isnt

he is gone

and this is new

people change irreversibly

damn damn damn

why did I not know

you are left alone

can you see

why cant you be loved as you are

go out and meet people

and be yourself more and more

do justice to your heart
s

yes do the justice to your heart

nothing lasts
i am afraid

what are you afraid of

what

money

and age

I have mastered my emotions I am proud of it
next is meaning

and next is complete independence from love that is lost to grieve it and move on

and just be myself

and just be

that which is lost may it be found in the stars

now that which is there your ambutionstand self care lets take it to the right place and