Trying to survive nights with twins. How do you split sleep and feeds? 😴

My partner and I are first-time parents, and it has definitely been an interesting experience so far. Our twins were born prematurely and spent a couple of months in the NICU. Now that they are both home, we are trying to figure out a routine that works for everyone.

I’m currently still working Monday to Friday, 8 to 5, while my partner is home with the twins during the day. I want to help as much as possible when I’m home and be a very hands-on dad, but the biggest thing we are struggling with right now is how to divide up sleep.

Typically when I get home from work, I’ll cook dinner, clean up, shower, and then try to take over with the twins for a while so she can relax and decompress after being with them all day.

The part we cannot seem to figure out is who should go to bed first.

I leave for work around 7:00 a.m. and usually get up 60 to 90 minutes beforehand so I have time to make breakfast, get ready, and get out the door.
Her preference is for me to go to bed first. She would handle the last feed before bed and the overnight feed, then I would get up early and handle the morning feed before work.

In my mind, I feel like it might make more sense for her to go to bed first after her bath. I would stay up and handle the last feed, then she would handle the overnight and morning feeds while I sleep before work.

Obviously neither option is going to give us perfect sleep with twins, but we are trying to find the setup that gives both of us a reasonable stretch of uninterrupted sleep while also making sure neither person feels like they are carrying too much of the load.

For other twin parents, especially those where one parent went back to work while the other stayed home, what schedule worked best for you? Did you sleep in shifts? Who handled the last feed, overnight feed, and early morning feed?