Prey. (Horror Poem)(X-Post from /r/OCPoetry)

Sharp and dull

The cold air contrasted

The walls grey

My body retracted

My knees tightly held by my arms

Strong. Cold. Alert.

Smells flirt with death

My body retracted

The opposite, in fact, impacted

My thoughts cold.

Strong. Alert.

Metal scraping stone and screeching from the torture

Was fuel for my fire, stimulation for this creature

Hesitation insisted I stay still

But the numb-less pervasion of my starvation for stimulation beckoned all four fours forward

And I leaped

No longer human

An animal

Abnormal

Experienced and almost tribal

Teeth piercing with grace

A red necklace to lace my neck

Haste Haste

And then nothing.

And then reality.

And then everything.

The beating of a heart is exhilarating

Pounding so loud

Obliterating any other sound

Pound, pound

First his, now mine

Now his WAS mine

I took it forever

For the better For the better

I took it forever

For the better For the better

(I originally posted this in r/OCPoetry, but I don't really like that community and I was hoping to get additional feedback here! Thanks!)

Posted Jun 26, 2014, 5:15 PM UTC

32
FromADarkMindContest #3,4,6,10,16&17 Winner: Writing illuminates the dark•

I haven't seen a lot of feedback on poetry here, but worth a shot. I like the story you wrote. From a form standpoint, I think some of your longer lines need to be reworked because they don't fit the meter of the rest of the poem, but I'm not a poet, so take that with a grain of salt. Thanks for sharing though!

2
ILikeToCreateOP•

Thanks!

2