Source
r/quittingkratom•
kratomhell

Day 19 - Things are better. (Quitting FST Update)

Hey folks. Just wanted to let you know that things have improved over the last few days. I was a basket case last week but it seems like I am finally over the worst of the anxiety and depression. I'm far from 100% and still struggle with some insomnia, but at least I can function like a human being during the day.

I just want to let anyone going through WD and the lingering psychological WDs that it DOES get better. It may take a while, but you will get out of this funk, I promise.

Posted Sep 3, 2014, 2:05 PM UTC

314
newoldmoney•

thank you. I needed this.

2
kratomhellOPRecovering•

Having a rough time? I promise it does get better.

2
T1kT4k•

Congrats, this is great to hear.

2
kratomhellOPRecovering•

Thanks! How are you feeling, T1kT4k?

1
Recovernow17•

I am so glad to hear you are better! You have NO idea how much respect I have for you to be able to CT off FST. Folks, it one has never done it... Trust me. It is beyond hard!

Congrats!!! I suspect you will have moments of wishing you had "just a little" - you know- your brain telling you "I've got this... A little won't hurt". Hopefully this won't be the case for you. If it does, I'm sure with time those cravings will pass until you don't think about it at all.

May I ask if you are back to the normal daily duties of your life? Working etc? Thx so much for sharing here. You gave me the courage to do so as well.

2
kratomhellOPRecovering•

Thanks! It was rough, but worth it. I still have occasional issues, but they are tolerable. I have no cravings currently. I'm actually kind of pissed off at the stuff. I didn't even really like how FST felt (compared to plain leaf - which was love at first try). It just seemed like once I used FST a whirlwind of tolerance hit me and next thing I knew I was dependent on that garbage. I wanted out almost immediately, but of course I was scared of the WDs.

I'm still off from work but I am doing all my other usual out and about life stuff without issue. I've planned a trip so I can get away for a bit to help recharge my brain. The main lingering issues I have are a bit of sluggishness, mild insomnia, digestive system issues (mild diarrhea), and the occasional anxiety that the anxiety might come back.

Thanks again! I think you are the tough one to be able to do a taper. I just didn't have the strength to do it. I hope you are doing well.

1
Recovernow17•

You are pretty damn strong to CT off FST. Don't sell yourself short on that!!! That is awesome you were able to hang on. Sorry for the hijack. I just had to comment on the "didn't have the strength". You are incredibly strong!

2
Junared•

You say for a week you felt bad? What was your dosage like before you quit?

1
kratomhellOPRecovering•

I was using approximately 3ml of FST per day. Dosing about every 3 hours at the time that I quit. If I didn't, I would start to get classic opiate WD symptoms. Thought about doing a taper but just didn't have the strength to do it. So I just jumped off CT. Really bad stuff lasted about 3-4 days. Crappy physical stuff lasted a week total. The next week the physical stuff was over but I had very bad anxiety and depression. The last few days I have noticed that things are getting better mentally. The anxiety and depression are nothing like they were last week.

If you want to see more details dig up my post from day 4.

1
newoldmoney•

did you suffer from depression and anxiety before you started using?

1
Recovernow17•

I hope it is okay for me to jump into this conversation. I can SO relate to the underlying depression and anxiety. I had it before kratom and honestly, still do. BUT... The overindulgence (to say the least) exacerbated BOTH to a huge degree towards the end! It was making things much worse. Add the guilt of knowing I was facing an addiction and I felt horrible emotionally. I actually feel MUCH better after tapering from FST to plain leaf. I only have 8 days so far but there is a huge difference in my depression level... In a good way. The fear of withdrawing was also debilitating. I don't know if you are currently using FST or other extracts but if so, please consider a plain leaf taper if you think you can control that. You'd will still have physical WD symptoms even using plain leaf but it doesn't compare to the hell of CT off FST. I am in awe of Kraromhell and the ability to do it CT. Maybe you can also... I tried and it was too much for me. Lasted two days and reordered.

There is a way out of this. You simply must make up your mind that you are DONE with kratom addiction and take one day at a time. I promise you will feel relief once you've just made the decision to do it.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about m PL taper. You can do this!

2
kratomhellOPRecovering•

Nope. I actually texted a friend with generalized anxiety disorder and let her know that I now understood, if just temporarily, what she deals with and how difficult it is. I knew it was just my brain chemistry recovering. Knowing this would gradually get better was what kept me sane the past few weeks.

1
newoldmoney•

That's the primary thing I'm worried about. I had severe anxiety and depression before starting on kratom, so I know that when I quit, my disorders are going to be back with a vengeance. I could barely handle being alive before I started using kratom. I'm just feeling very hopeless. I can't go back to that.

1