Be a full glass.
I was winding down a very long day at a local watering hole, randomly texting a female friend of mine. Discussion quickly steered towards approaching people in a bar, and I unwittingly got into a conversation about social interactions after she asked me if I was hitting on guys (four other male patrons, no women, it was a dead evening).
I consider myself a pretty social person. I have little apprehension about approaching people to start a conversation. It's easy to form a bond with another guy in a bar if you know how a conversation works. Find a mutual interest or situation, be somewhat on the same level, and two grown men can sit in a bar and talk for hours about damn near anything. Two smart guys can learn from each other. I urge a lot of straight guys in here to make it a point to talk to other men in a bar if you're in that situation. It's excellent social practice. An added bonus is that you'll eventually run into somebody that may end up being a guide, mentor, or motivator.
But as we all know, it's different when you're interacting with the opposite sex.
Women, as long as they have attractive features, rarely have to do any work to get attention and validation. A good looking girl in a nightlife atmosphere exerts little to no effort and can usually leave with somebody they find desirable. An 8-10 is living on easy mode.
From a woman's perspective, we as men have to offer something to even be considered. We have to work for it.
It is very difficult to approach a woman who does not, on some level, have an immediate attraction. It can be done, but it is an uphill battle. We all know that more attractive men have it easy. A solid combination of body, looks, style, and stature goes a long way.
- Rule 1. Be attractive.
- Rule 2. Don't be unattractive.
Most of us are not tens. Beyond that point where eyes lock and a smile is exchanged, we have to demonstrate value (the concept of SMV should not be foreign to anybody reading this). That value comes in the form of conversational ability, social competence, intrigue, and staying power (motivation, potential, money, raw power, etc.).
Looks are always important, let's not kid ourselves. But for long-term success, you have to be the whole package.
I know none of this is stuff that hasn't been rehashed on this sub many times. But here's how I have started to look at TRP, who I am as a man, and what it means for social standing.
Be a full glass.
I was holding a pint glass. I saw myself as that glass. My goal as a man is to keep that glass full, if not overflowing, at all times.
If you have $500 million dollars, your glass is overflowing and you don't need anything else to get what you want. Same deal if you're a Calvin Klein model, you can probably pull any woman you desire at any point. But again, most of us aren't that guy.
To most guys, your pint glass is going to be filled with a combination all the things that make you a man:
- Looks
- Style
- Stature (posture, physical presence)
- Intrigue/mystery
- Frame
- Net worth
- Power
- Attitude
- Ability
- Motivation
- Potential
The list goes on. Everybody is going to have a different combination of those traits in their glass. You might not be the best looking guy, but you can make up for it by increasing value in any of the other categories. You might be a broke college student, but you can easily make up for it with a sense of style, good attitude, and a strong aura of potential. The final composition of liquid in that glass matters much less than the fact that all those factors are present in some form, and enough volume, to keep that glass full at all times.
This is not a theory about getting women. It's a theory about being a man. The women come as a result.
TLDR: Fill your glass with all the qualities that make you a desirable, powerful, man of integrity and value.
Tear this shit apart.
Edit: As expected, I'm seeing replies about how this is all bullshit that doesn't matter in the pursuit of ass.
I recognize that a large part of TRP is "Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men." I won't argue that, it's why most people are here. But I think if you come here with a strict agenda of raising SMV for the pure purpose of bedding women, you're missing out on a lot of TRP potential, and at some level, letting women exert control over the direction of your life.
When you can realize the personal fulfillment that comes with a RP mindset, those women become a bonus, not the goal.
None of you are wrong, but I think it's an idea that has merit. Maybe I've spent too much time in r/AskTRP lately.
Posted Oct 16, 2014, 3:51 PM UTC · edited
I like this concept. I had a similar way to explain attractiveness to guys who weren't convinced they were would never succeed with girls because of their looks, height, wealth etc. I used to tell them that every human is like a character from a role playing game in that they have an array of skills/attributes each ranging from 1-100. Except instead of HP, magica, small weapons skill etc they are attributes like the ones you listed (Frame, net worth, intelligence etc). Your time, energy and money are like "skill points" that you can spend on improving those attributes. Some attributes are harder to improve than others and it's easy to downgrade attributes so you have to be clever about how you spend your "skill points". But the thing is that it doesn't make a difference how high or low any given attribute is, only that the overall value reaches a certain number (i.e. fills the glass as you put it). It's inefficient to try and only grind on one attribute as it becomes harder to get the same increase in value/attractiveness and it's pointless to worry about one's that you can't change much (e.g. height) because you can make up for it in the plethora of other attributes. Better to grab low hanging fruit by working on a few at a time which also makes for a more rounded character.
Exactly, that is why everyone should lift if you are not lifting already, it is the easiest way to skill up in physical attractiveness along with a few other attributes such as health and strength at the same time. What is another easy skill to upgrade?
You're spot on! lifting is a perfect example of a low cost, high yield activity that develops a range of attributes. As for more, I can think of 4 types of activity that IMO have a similar cost:yield ratio. I've also put examples of the types of goals you can use for each.
GOAL EXAMPLE: 'study 2 hours a day Mon-Fri' (...to get an A grade) OR 'turn up to work 15 minutes early' (... to improve my chances of a promotion)
GOAL EXAMPLE: host a dinner with 3 girls and 3 guys once a month
GOAL EXAMPLE: 'turn up to soccer training 4 times a month'
GOAL EXAMPLE: 'get to bed by 10pm during the work week'
You can probably think of a tonne more that are more relevant to you. The underlying principle is in doing something that is relatively low cost (time/energy/money) that improves a variety of areas AND that will keep you growing you if you do it regularly. Something like improving your fashion sense is great but it can be expensive, it generally only hits one area (physical attractiveness) and you can't really keep improving on it.
Disclaimer: each one of these can be massively beneficial but can also big undertaking if you've never approached them like this. In the past I've made the mistake of trying to change all this shit (and then some) at once which just leads to exhaustion and failure to keep it up. Choose the one that you think will make the most difference to you, set a goal like the ones i listed (or just Google 'SMART goals') and work on it until it becomes habit for you and then chose another area on.
I'd like to re-roll my character, is that alright with you, DM?
I kid, I kid. While that was nerdy as hell, that was a great comment man!
Thanks! And yes you can have an extra re-roll ;)
Haha yup it is a slightly absurd and geeky concept and that's actually part of what makes it work. When you're working on becoming this more ideal version of yourself, it's quite easy to become jaded and disillusioned when you have set backs. You can end up feeling impotent and disenfranchised with a world that seems to give the golden ticket to people like Dan Bilzerian while you were born into a fatherless marriage where you were actively discouraged from pursuing manhood. If you repeatedly fail to meet your own expectations without a way of seeing the lighter side then depression and suicide can uncomfortably realistic possibilities.
Turning it into a game in which you lay down the rules, takes away that sense of oppressive powerlessness. It makes it feel like something fun you and your friends would choose to do kids, rather than some sort of mandatory rat race where you're either first or last. This is actually becoming a mainstream method called 'gamification' used by the likes of Codeacademy and Duolingo to make teaching languages and coding more effective. They keep you motivated to learn because you learn by doing, your progress is continually fed back to you, you are given frequent rewards and when you "run out of lives" you just go back to the start of the level.
There's a fascinating TED talk by Jane McGonigal where she (herself a game designer) describes how she uses this technique to get back on her feet after an accident that left her bed-ridden and depressed.
The only really serious question that faces you is 'World of Warcraft or Call of Duty'?
The easiest skill to upgrade is to stop trying to please anyone but yourself. You have to look at you in the mirror, you know if you are a liar, a thief, or a blue pill beta. If you have to do it get drunk and film yourself giving yourself that dad talk you never got about what a failure you are and what a let down you've become. then make yourself watch that shit every day until you decide to fix the problem. Also there's a Sex Pistols song called Problems. Give it a listen, shit i'll even post a link with the lyrics in the description for you. Now the only problem left, is you. (not directed at the OG's.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNG4AeUPriA
I totally agree with you on this point. I believe overall 'Attraction' can be mathematically calculated. For example, expanding your RPG example, you are an average male character with the following attributes (Rated by yourself/other people):
•Looks - 6/10 •Style - 8/10 •Stature (posture, physical presence) - 7/10 •Intrigue/mystery - 5/10 •Frame - 7/10 •Net worth - 3/10 •Power -3/10 •Attitude - 9/10 •Ability - 8/10 •Motivation - 8/10
On a broad scale, you are the sum of all these parts: 64 (Total sum)/100(Total denominators) = 64%. However that's just a broad stroke, in the sense that it is assuming the woman you are targeting values all these traits equally. The key is, all women have different values, which act as multipliers to the above values.
Lets be honest here, looks are a very important value to most women, therefore the multiplier on that is very high. For example, lets say a multiplier of 5. Therefore •Looks 6/10, times 5 = 30/50, bringing the total to 80/140 = 57%, therefore to this woman who values looks, you are a 57%, not a 64% as originally assessed.
This is just an example and to be honest, on that list, the only other main contender to looks is net worth, which is a high multiplier to most people/women. In simpler terms, having a lvl 60 character with level 300/300 blacksmithing, but not as awesome as a lvl 90 warrior with 0/300 in all crafts. But a good contender would be a lvl 60 with level 300/300 blacksmithing, enchanting 300/300, leatherworking 300/300 and 90,000 gold.
That 'multiplier' concept is great! I might borrow it and give you credit if you don't mind.
And yeah you've got to craft the kind of 'character' that best suits how you want to play the game (similar to choosing warrior, thief or mage). I remember back when I was reading Mystery's PUA stuff that he worked on the parts of himself in a way that would make him attractive to a certain type of girl. In his case I think it was porn stars so he created this alternative rock-star/magician persona that personally I had no desire to emulate, but hey, it got him to where he wanted to be.
It makes you more discerning about women as you size them up to see if they fit your what your after. This gives you more power/SMV in an interaction as she won't be the only one dishing out the shit tests.
haha thats so true! i totally forgot about Mystery's PUA persona. Maybe the red pill community should come up with "classes" like warrior, thief and mage to sort of give a guide to new guys who wish to change their identity. Everyone here says "Lift!", but no one says how much. Theres Gerard Butler Warrior class (Mesomorph) which attracts a certain type of woman, and Cam Gigandet Thief class (ectomorph) which also attracts women.
I guess whats worth really studying and thinking about is what kind of classes/dominant roles are there, and how do we level ourselves up to reach these roles?
Max out constitution and level up charisma for most bang for your buck. Get the "Wingman" follower asap and rush the "bar" dungeon.
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