I intend to maintain my anonymity and bar license.
So I would really prefer not to answer questions about:
Otherwise, let's do this. I'd be happy to explain basic legal concepts, elucidate the life of a corporate lawyer, and discuss whatever other weird questions you've got.
Posted Nov 8, 2014, 2:07 AM UTC · edited
Are you a sex maniac, or a sex repressed maniac, or neither?
Yes, I am one of those three things.
I see. Next, we shall narrow the choices! Are you a sex maniac, or a sex repressed maniac?
Nope. I'm happily happily single, go on occasional dates, and am not in the least bit maniacal.
Ok, good to hear. Literotica lied to me about lawyers. Are you a female, because then they really lied!
I'm a small-firm lawyer goofing off on Reddit late on Friday! I've been debating back and forth on FB in a pro-gun group (I'm pro gun myself) for the last hour; got tired of trying to explain why the Amendments are not absolute, that they're subject to restrictions. Ugh!!
Anyways, a few questions please:
(1) What other areas of law do you practice aside from corporate (I do family law, criminal law/DUI, and collections)? (2) How long have you been an attorney (me going on 5 years)? (3) Why are you working late on a Friday? Are you an associate at the firm? (4) What do you think of the Moody Blues? (5) Male or female? (6) Would you like to take the Bar Exam again just for the fun of it? (7) Describe a typical day for you? (8) Do you go to court often? (9) Know any jerk lawyers (I do)? (10) Westlaw or Lexis? - Thanks!
Good questions. I got distracted by making a run to the liquor store for more bourbon. I'm a stereotype, apparently.
Regarding the gun stuff: I am neither pro- not anti-gun. I don't know what to think, but I do love constitutional law, and I think the Second Amendment is one of the knottiest parts of the Bill of Rights. I am not convinced that the Founding Fathers wanted an armed populace as a check on the power of government (the "Insurrectionist" theory of the Amendment). The evidence in contemporaneous writings is scant compared to other readings. I also do not think that the same case can be made for the benefits of an armed populace in resisting invasion in today's warfare as could be made in the late 18th century.
Fruitcake: I'd actually be impressed if someone seriously made the originalist argument (on analogy, perhaps, with construction of the 7th Amendment's right to a jury trial) that the right to bear arms was frozen in place as of the Amendment's adoption in 1791. No state can infringe on your fundamental right to bear an 18th century musket, but automatic rifles and semi-automatic rifles and laser-guided ballistic missiles and atomic warheads can all be forbidden. I do not think this is wise policy, but it's a viable legal theory. Maybe Clarence Thomas would be willing to give it a spin.
Nice answers thanks! Like the tongue-in-cheek strike-though style of # 3. Regarding # 6...you are either a sadist or a glutton for punishment.
Regarding the 2nd Amendment, it seems the framers were conscious of a government becoming too powerful and the right to bear arms kind of keeps in things in check for the 4th branch of government...the People.
hypothetical, and not my own personal legal problem:
your corporation does something hideous, Bhopal disaster style. would you be on the damage control team? what are your first damage control instincts in such a situation?
I work at a law firm, so usually they'd call us after something terrible happens to deal with the aftermath.
I would probably not be on the damage control team, but I might be on the team that deals with law suits brought by the governments involved and the people harmed by the disaster. Because there would be lawsuits. Then it would be my job to make sure that the company will pay the money it has to but isn't tricked into paying money to people who aren't owed any or can't prove how they were harmed. And to fight to be sure that the people who own and work for the company aren't completely wiped out when the government tries to punish the company.
This kind of stuff is messy, and I know lawyers who've worked on similar cases. Nothing Bhopal-sized, but some major US-based environmental stuff. Doing justice in those cases is hard work because there's no way to make everyone come away better off.
sounds fun, actually. nervy, but satisfyingly challenging.
what's your salary?
~$185,000 plus the possibility of an annual bonus, whose amount remains unknown until I get or don't get it.
And it can be a lot of fun, for sure... but for the all-nighters, the unexpectedly moving across the country for a few months at a time, and the inability to predict whether you'll have to be in the office all weekend... those can diminish one's appreciation somewhat.
Also a lot of the cases aren't quite as sexy as a big oil spill. Sometimes it's just some lawyer who claims that some tech company advertised that their devices had 48GB of storage when they only had 47.7GB, and that he and millions of other people were somehow harmed by this.
Also no one likes accounting for her or his time in terms of billable hours. It turns out having to account for all your time in tenths-of-an-hour for billing purposes is a total drag.
So, how many hours do you work during an average week? What is your billing goals? Heck, what is your billable rate?
Do you want to become a partner? If not, what other career options are you considering (as I thought most firms had an up or out system)?
Hours in an average week: there are no average weeks. Some weeks it's 30; some weeks it's 80. I try to keep the 80-hour weeks to a minimum though.
Billing Goals: I try to bill an average of about 8 hours of work a day on average. Assuming I don't bill over vacations, that comes out to roughly 2000 billable hours a year.
Billable Rate: I apparently cost something like $550 / hour, though that's due to go up at the end of the firm's fiscal year. When I'm doing housework, I often think about how I am the most expensive maid in San Francisco.
Partnership: I'd enjoy being a partner, but I don't think I want to do that forever. I'm definitely on that track, and I'll keep going on that track, but my goal is to become a judge eventually. But partnership pays a lot better, so who knows how long I'll put that off.
How much law school debt did you graduate with?
Good question. In my case, it was $0.
I paid for law school with a combination of money I saved from working beforehand and money that was given to me by members of my family: mostly my grandparents.
Tuition was roughly $170,000, though, not including the cost of books, food, and a place to live.