A concrete tip for staying away from porn - Identify, and then stay away from, triggers
This post is part of an ongoing series of posts about staying away from porn
Identify, and then stay away from, triggers
A trigger is loosely defined as anything that stimulates you to act out in your addiction. For porn addicts, triggers can include a wide range of phenomena, from anger and stress, to being exposed to sexually stimulating content on the TV or Internet, to unwanted memories of pornographic scenes. Generally speaking, you want to go to great lengths to stay away from triggers. Triggers vary from person to person, and early in your recovery, it's important for you to identify what your triggers are. Writing in a recovery journal immediately after slips and near slips can be a great way to identify your triggers.
Here are just a few triggers, and ways to avoid them:
- Pornographic ideation, or fantasizing about porn. Fantasizing about porn while masturbating or at other times has a tendency to keep your mind engaged in porn. Resolve to eliminate pornographic ideation entirely, but be patient with yourself as you break the habit. Mindfulness meditation techniques can be useful in dealing with this.
- NSFW images, and even SFW images. Quitting porn is about breaking the habit of getting sexual gratification from paper and computer screens. By seeking out stimulating images on a screen, even those that are PG rated, you're stoking the fires of that habit. Especially while you are early in your recovery, consider making a very strict policy of resetting your badge for any intentional seeking out of stimulating images. No more Google Image searches. No more scrolling through pics of your hot Facebook friends.
- Erotic literature. You may be tempted to relieve an urge to watch porn by reading erotic stories. This is almost certainly a bad idea; it reinforces the habit of getting sexual gratification from a computer screen or paper. Take a zero-tolerance approach to erotic literature, just as you do with porn.
- Stress. For many of us, porn was our go-to way of dealing with work and relationship stress. We need to discover and apply new ways to deal with stress. Consider Mindfulness meditation and vigorous exercise.
- HALT - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Addictions of all kinds share HALT as major sources of triggers. Try to take good physical and mental care of yourself.
UPDATE: More examples of triggers in the comments below. Feel free to add your own! And tell us how you deal with them.
Posted Nov 16, 2014, 4:45 AM UTC · edited