Source
terahurtsCleethorpes, definitely not Grimsby•

Full text of his Sunday Times article (Taken from r/clarkson here):

I’m having another baby. But I can’t tell you what it will look like

As you may have heard, the BBC has taken my gun and my badge, and I must admit it’s all been a bit of a shock. For more than 12 years Top Gear has been my life, completely. It was an all-consuming entity, a many-tentacled global monster that was dysfunctional and awkward and mad but I loved it with a passion. I loved it like my own child. Which in many ways it was. But then, one day, I read in Her Majesty’s Daily Telegraph that my contract wasn’t going to be renewed and that they were going to give my baby to someone else.

I felt sick because after I’d lost my home and my mother, I’d thrown myself even more vigorously into my job and now, idiotically, I’d managed to lose that too. The sense of loss was enormous. I used to think about Top Gear all the time. It was a black hole at the centre of my heart. I woke every morning worrying about every single line. And I went to bed at night worrying that the changes I’d made during the day were wrong. Friends would talk to me when we were out and, though I could see their lips moving, I couldn’t hear what they were saying. My mind was always elsewhere. I was comfortably numb.

Two days before the “fracas”, I’d been told, sternly, by my doctor that the lump on my tongue was probably cancer and that I must get it checked out immediately. But I couldn’t do that. We were in the middle of a Top Gear series. And Top Gear always came first. The hole it’s left behind seems to stretch for eternity. And eternity is a big place. Imagine a ball of steel the size of the Earth. Now imagine a fly landing on that ball once a day, and then taking off again. When it eventually has worn the ball of steel away to nothing, that is just the start of eternity. And I’ve somehow got to fill it.

Playing patience on my laptop is not the answer. Because when you get bored, and you will, it’s still only eight in the morning and you can’t even think about going to the pub for four more hours. And then you have to decide not to go to the pub because that’s the road to ruin and despair.

So you watch the lunchtime news and it’s full of Ed Miliband doing his new Dirty Harry act and David Cameron in a hospital with his tie tucked into his shirt and his sleeves rolled up, and it’s still five hours until the start of Pointless. So you go to the shops, and for the first time you are aware that every penny you spend is coming from a pot that’s no longer being topped up. So you decide not to spend anything at all.

The only good thing is that my son is currently living with me in London, doing A-level retakes. Which means I can spend, ooh, about 16 hours a day reading about the Cold War and helping him with his creative writing coursework. But soon he will be gone, and then the yawning chasm will open up once more.

We read often about people who live on benefits, and it fills us with rage that they are sitting about with a plasma television we bought, eating chocolate biscuits that aren’t bloody well theirs. Yet after a couple of weeks in the same boat (well, all right, mine’s more of a liner), I’m beginning to develop a bit of sympathy. Because what the hell do they do all day to stay sane? I suppose it helps when all your friends are on the dole as well. You can all hang out in the bus shelter together. But selfishly, most of my friends have jobs, which means that until eight at night I have almost no one to play with.

This means I have to make everything last for hours. I have set aside this afternoon to fill in the membership form for a local tennis club. And then I shall use all tomorrow morning to take it round. The afternoon? Not sure yet. I may organise my jumpers. And so we get to the nub of the issue. When you are thrust into the world of early retirement, it’s no good living from day to day because then you’re just a twig in a stream. You just get stuck in an eddy till you rot. You need to have a long-term strategy. You need something that will fill the void.

But what? Squash? Really? I’m 55 years old, which means that long before I become good my knees will explode and my ears will fill up with hair. Fishing? Hmm. I’m not certain, when you’ve spent a life being chased across the border by angry mobs and shot at in helicopter gunships, that you can fill the hole by sitting on the bank of a canal, in the drizzle. It’s the same story with gardening. When your Maserati’s done 185mph you’re not going to get much of a thrill from a rhubarb growth spurt.

One of my friends, who shall remain nameless, save to say that his name begins with R and ends in ichard Hammond, decided to fill his enforced leave by training his dog. And now, after just a couple of weeks, he reports that the dog in question hates him and hides whenever he comes into the room.

Things will only get worse because recent studies have found that people who retire early stand an increased chance of developing dementia. They also live in a constant state of anxiety and will die nearly two years sooner than they might had they stayed at work. At 55, then, you’re in a limbo land where time is simultaneously with you and against you. You are too young to put your feet up but too old to start anything new.

Which is why I have made a decision. I have lost my baby but I shall create another. I don’t know who the other parent will be or what the baby will be like, but I cannot sit around any more organising my photograph albums.

Especially as most of the pictures I have are from a fabulous chapter that’s now been closed. The child is grown. The dream is gone. I have become uncomfortably numb.

60
easytigerLondon•

Does sound pretty depressing

45
Lord_Summerisle•

More depressing is the fact Clarkson has his own subreddit.

33
MuffinYea"WHITE ROSE WHITE ROSE" - Sheffield•

Yeah... I mean, I find the guy entertaining and really quite like him despite him being a bit of a prick... But a sub devoted to him? Come on...

3
here2dare•

I mean there's a subreddit dedicated to Taylor Swift's armpits...

5
-malloc•

Sounds like someone's got himself a good PR firm.

Expect a new Sky 1 show to be announced sometime in May.

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lifeandthensomeWrexham•

I wouldn't bet against him writing it himself, he is a journalist after all.

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[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
ktechmidas•

You know, I actually have a bit of sympathy for him. I feel he was punished justly and the BBC shouldn't take him back - but I was unofficially suspended from my job for about 4 months before I managed to get another.

People were saying I was living the dream, getting paid to do nothing - but damn it does get tedious after a week or two. I was so happy when I got another job.

22
Eddie_Hitler•

I've been working full time for nearly three years now. Before that, I used to adore doing nothing, thought it was amazing, why work etc.?

These days I get twitchy and bored just taking single days off. The thought of being unemployed or idle for prolonged periods honestly frightens me.

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[deleted]•

[deleted]

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The_Promised_LANNottinghamshire•

The child is grown. The dream is gone. I have become uncomfortably numb.

Good taste in music, that Jeremy.

7
omicron8•

He's only 55? I thought he was 65...

5
Eddie_Hitler•

He won't reach 65 if he keeps up with the smoking and drinking.

1
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
Weedlefruit•

What a prick. He is making himself sound like he's hard done by... It makes me so angry that someone so rich can write about how boring it is not working and puts himself on the same level as people on the dole.

For someone who was fretting so much about whether changes he had made regarding the show to be popular he had an incredible job of regularly fucking that up and saying and doing the wrong thing...

Child.

-21†
Quagers•

We obviously read it very differently.

I don't think he's comparing himself to people on the Dole in every way. He's using to to make the point that when you are used to working everyday and then that just stops it can make your life feel a bit empty. My dad went through the same when he was made redundant, he just could not fill his days. Everyone he knew was at work, all the chores you wish you had extra time for at the weekend really don't take that long, the boredom just sucks the life out of you.

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Weedlefruit•

I do understand that point of view but to be honest the thing that really smacks for me is the way he's downplaying his role in his demise and is acting like he's had this all snatched away from him and also the fact that he is wingeing about being bored! To have that amount of money and to basically be Jeremy Clarkson but not find anything to do... Jesus. Give that money to someone who will enjoy it and go and work at a pub if you can't handle your own company Jez!

-13†
Teknikal69•

To be fair he had an awful lot to do with making Top Gear the success it is/was along with Andy Wilman and he was known as a complete workaholic.

You can vilify Clarkson all you like he was in the wrong to have snapped at Oisin but surely you can also start to see the amount of stress/pressure he was also under at the time.

To me the BBC was wrong to sack him and not try to help him instead and the fact that they compared him to a pedophile while he was dealing with everything else is in my opinion really a very scummy move.

Just some things it's know Clarkson was dealing with not to pardon him but just to make you think of how you might start to fray also under the same situation.

  • Running for his life out of Argentina
  • Mother Died
  • Wife Divorces him
  • BBC gives him a final warning for something that he didn't actually say. (I watched the video)
  • Cancer Scare
23
antantoonCosta del Crime•

It's not any job he wants to do though, it's top gear. When somebody loves their job and can't do it anymore they are going to be sad about it.

9
bearjuaniAberystwyth•

Him bleating about losing his job when this whole thing started because he told someone he'd take their job is pretty entertaining too.

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Weedlefruit•

Yeah - Sounds like he is playing the victim. Poor me! Look at how I've got nothing to do with all my millions... His whole thing about once you've been in a fast car, insert tedious activity suddenly isn't exciting! You really telling me you're just going to sit around and feel sorry for yourself now and do nothing?

Although thinking about it I would get a bit of a kick out of seeing him sat on his own throwing bread into a pond a ducks that could give a shit...

5†
Matthias21Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells, but in Leeds•

To be fair he said exactly the opposite.. That he wasn't going to sit around and do nothing and was going to build something else.

15
bezzzerk•

Man Child. Big difference.

-1†
Weedlefruit•

Very true. I can just imagine spending time with him to be such hard work... Like if Kevin Patterson won the lottery...

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yonthickie•

I am with you . Anyone who seems to begrudge the unemployed a chocolate biscuit to get through life does not deserve any sympathy for making do with millions. I always presumed that the persona he had on TV was just one he put on. Seems not, if this is anything to go by he really is a spoilt entitled brat.

-1†
Delscottio•

The whole piece screams 'me, me, me'.

Odd that the rags don't pay him for his articles as well.

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HeartyBeastLondon•

I had some sympathy, until I got to this:

I’d been told, sternly, by my doctor that the lump on my tongue was probably cancer and that I must get it checked out immediately. But I couldn’t do that. We were in the middle of a Top Gear series. And Top Gear always came first.

This just seems a bit pitiful. Then I read the rest ... and was even more pitiful.

39
TheAnimus•

I can kind of understand, two day delay for a biopsy isn't that bad, but boy howdy will it play on your mind, we all do things that impact our health, you'll be stuck worrying about it, what did I do, is this because I didn't do something?

Add in heavy alcohol consumption, the fact that many people might not know as you don't really want to share such thing, so won't really be helping.

But you've got to keep going, if not just for a few days, because millions of pounds are at stake.

17
HeartyBeastLondon•

Absolutely. I'd be in pieces. I understand the emotion. But I get a self-pitying 'Top Gear was worth more than life itself - and they took it away from me' vibe from the piece - and I find that a bit hard to take.

17
TheAnimus•

To be honest, I'd believe it, from what I know of the man, he is a bit of an ego maniac. He was definitely a driving force (heh) behind the reboot of top gear that made it go from too few viewers, to the most watched show in the world.

I also can relate to something like that, when I was unable to work due to a physical injury, it drove me mad! So mad I only didn't work for half a day, whilst my work isn't nearly as successful, I still consider it my baby, even though it's 10 people now, I still think of it as mine.

When bad news or something happens, trying to do work is often cathartic, mix in heavy booze and I'd probably get angry or upset, but I've never hit anyone when drunk.

9
duckalors•

If millions of pounds are at stake then don't ruin your show by shouting at a producer for 20 mins and then Punching him, getting sacked and destroying the whole thing for all involved!

4
TheAnimus•

Because drinking heavily, because you are probably terrified, scared by the prospect of tongue cancer (assume it's worse if you are a smoker, would feel it's self induced). Might make you act out just a little bit no? Or would you be perfectly rational throughout?

Ever had a loved one go through even a negative biopsy? Whilst much better than a positive one, I can say it's still very stressful. On more than one occasion I've watched someone I thought of as strong, commanding, falter in fear. I certainly can't blame them.

1
ThereCanBeOnly_Juan•

because millions of pounds are at stake.

Because that's what really matters? Extra millions?

1
TheAnimus•

Yes, think of all the people, even ones you might not agree with at the moment who have been working very hard, invested a lot of time (and money) into this. You can't be that linchpin that fails. You push yourself harder.

2
Eddie_Hitler•

Clarkson isn't exactly hard up and I'm absolutely certain he has fancy private healthcare. He wouldn't even have to wait terribly long.

1
ieya404Edinburgh•

What makes you think he doesn't get paid well for his articles?

1
Delscottio•

No money coming in topping up what he's got. It was sarcasm, he'll be on over 100k pa for his regular columns.

2
mushroomgodmat•

Lesson here is don't keep making "mistakes" and getting warnings. Because once you (seem to) have a legitimate excuse it's already too late.

45
Koffing•

Apart from punching someone after finding out he probably has cancer what did Jeremy do again?

-30
shrister•

Several borderline racist remarks accompanied by several other offensive remarks that lead up to him being on his final warning. Slope on a bridge? Later alluding to that same racist joke in another episode? Eenie-Meenie? One eyed Scottish idiot? Shoot public sector workers in front of their families? Truck drivers murder prostitutes? Gordon Brown is a silly cunt?

15
GingerPowLoughoughoughoughboroughoughoughough•

Shoot public sector workers in front of their families

That one is/was complete and utter nonsense. He'd been expressing his views that he supported the striking workers and then made a joke that because he was on the BBC, he had to be neutral so for balance, the union leaders should be taken out and shot. A hilariously obvious joke that wasn't even at the expense of the Public sector workers, but rather the BBC.

34
ImperialPsychoSussex•

Well the racist ones I have no truck with, but I don't really see the issue with calling Gordon Brown a silly cunt, though admittedly maybe not before watershed.

As for the shot in front of their families one, that was totally trumped up. He said something sympathetic to the strikers, then 'oh it's the BBC we have to be balanced, so also they should shot in front their families.' An incredibly obvious joke.

6
makeinstall•

He didnt call him a 'silly cunt'. He called him a 'one eyed Scottish idiot'

Im with Stewart Lee on his perspective of that situation, frankly

5
FreddyDeusAyup•

He called Gordon Brown 'a one-eyed Scottish idiot'. Apparently offending every single person on the planet who has a visual impairment. He did apologise for using the term 'one-eyed'. But that was all he apologised for.

Clarkson more often than not is the victim of people who want to be offended, often on behalf of other people. A spurious form of offence.

0†
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
Koffing•

So some pg humour and requesting a take not be used because it sounds racist.

The church comes out with more offensive stuff than that pretty regularly

-8
shrister•

OFCOM ruled that the slope remark was a deliberately use of an offensive racist word. It's not like he got fired for those remarks, just warnings, he painted himself into a corner.

8
KultureShoqueMay Be Foreign, Beware•

Lots of people do and they don't behave like arseholes. Even with full cancer, not a "scare" most people seem quite civil.

36
Mahatama•

I'd imagine the thought that you might have cancer is more terrifying than actually having cancer is.

-5†
KultureShoqueMay Be Foreign, Beware•

I think there is truth to what you're saying. Obviously this is supported by the fact you've been downvoted.

5
timmystwinAcross the border in Exeter•

Had a scare a while back. I know this is anecdotal, but I just kind of dealt with it. Was a bit more depressed, but I had other things to worry about, I was in the care of the system and it was doing its job. Nothing else I could do.

2
film_idiot•

I'm finding it hard to sympathize with him, he sounds like a sanctimonious, self-pitying knob. The less I hear and see about him in the future, the better.

28
BrokenControllerHertfordshire•

Not saying its an excuse but slightly more understandable than just him being a cunt

24
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
hamid336•

are we meant to feel sorry for him?

17
YurilovescatsHampshire•

Personally I'm just glad he's going to do another show.

11
malikorousLeicestershire•

I'm 23 and have had 3 cancer scares in the past 5 years. During which time I too was faced with bereavement, literal homelessness (I'm pretty sure Clarkson didn't have to sleep rough at any point), and other issues like sexual assault, blah blah blah...

On no occasion did I get myself involved in a 'fracas' because there wasn't the food I wanted. Jesus, I went weeks without a proper meal and just had to deal with it!

I can completely understand how scary it is to be told you might have cancer, especially when you're going through a tough time already. However, there is no excuse for being an outright cunt to someone who firstly probably isn't fully aware of the issues you've got going on in the background and secondly, was just trying to do their job.

Let the Clarkson pity party begin, but I'm not going to be taken in by it.

11
Capapecker•

I love how these comments are split almost exactly 50/50 between those who feel sorry for him and those who think he's a prick.

6
rainatorCardiff•

for me, its both...

10
VeoraSwindon•

For me its just a sheer hate for the hate-circle jerk. So much "and we're supposed to care?" Well you wouldn't read the OP nor post a reply if you didn't you autistic fuck.

1†
Kingy_whoSent to coventry•

I don't feel sorry for him, but I understand him now. I never thought he was that bad though when he is standing next to the slimeball Hammond.

1
ZenZibbehGlasgow•

Heh, If you want a community that likes Top gear. Go to r/TopGear r/uk is just shit for things like this. Top topics to never discuss are Russell Brand and anyone trying to change anything in the country. Yeah the guys a knob. Everyone knows he is. He knows he is. Doesn't mean people don't like his content and if venting on reddit makes you sleep easier at night then so be it.

-3†
OhNotYourShitAgain•

http://i.imgur.com/k1fVlAY.gifv

6
bickering_fool•

Reminds me of a Vicky Pollard 'Yeah but...no but' sketch.

5
chochazel•

"It was an all-consuming entity, a many-tentacled global monster that was dysfunctional and awkward and mad but I loved it with a passion. I loved it like I love my life partner, Raul," he wrote.

3
limeflavouredNewark, Notts•

This doesn't really excuse his behaviour. Makes it perhaps a little more understandable though.

3
borg88Buckinghamshire•

This was on the front page of the Sunday Times. The same paper which, last week, had an article about the new series of GoT on the front page of the News Review. I guess the rumours about a Sky version of Top Gear might be true.

3
[deleted]•

I fucking hate this appologism. If he had hit a woman and sent her to the hospital who would be supporting him, where would his legion be then? He hit a man so that is ok? Assualt is assualt is assualt. He physically attacked someone for no reason, he should be up on charges.

1
ZenZibbehGlasgow•

Which is why I have made a decision. I have lost my baby but I shall create another. I don’t know who the other parent will be or what the baby will be like, but I cannot sit around any more organising my photograph albums.

YAY

0†
ieya404Edinburgh•

It'll be interesting to see how Top Gear's viewing figures hold up against Top Clarkson.

0
LikelyHungover•

""for the first time you are aware that every penny you spend is coming from a pot that’s no longer being topped up. So you decide not to spend anything at all""

Jeremy Clarkson net worth and salary: Jeremy Clarkson is an English television presenter who has a net worth of $50 million.

Top fucking kek jeremy. Right-o

btw you all hate him because he isn't left wing. Which is equally funny. He is the anti-guardian, and it pisses you off he had a platform for so long on the BBC

boo hoo. He's a bit of a twat and so are you lot.

-12
HoleinroadBritish Commonwealth•

btw you all hate him because he isn't left wing. Which is equally funny. He is the anti-guardian, and it pisses you off he had a platform for so long on the BBC

Left wing Clarkson fan checking in for service. Well done on turning a workplace assault into an attack on people's political ideologies though, cracking effort.

16