My grandfather has had several strokes and can no longer remember things very well, so he writes himself a lot of notes. I stopped in to check on him and found this note on his coffee table in front of him. I've been full time for almost 2 years, this still makes me smile.
Posted May 23, 2015, 6:50 PM UTC
17214
Your grandfather is freaking awesome. Seriously.
He is incredibly accepting. Which most people are surprised about since he is a 75 year old backwoods, Christian, uber-conservative republican.
That actually made me tear up a little. Might be because it's my shot day lol. My grandpa passed away right before I came out, so I kinda wonder how he would have been with it. His brother is gay so I'm guessing OK? But I can't be certain. I miss him. I'm glad your grandfather was so cool with it.
Yay it's my shot day too! And my birthday, which coincidentally my grandfather did forget, and didn't have any notes about lol. I often wonder what my dad's dad would have thought about my transition, but it does no good to be bogged down in a world of "what if's." What your grandfather would have thought of your transition isn't important. You can drive yourself crazy thinking about it. What is important is that he loved you to the end, and that love will always stay with you.
This is why I don't believe that transphobia is a generational problem. What does seem to be a generational problem is the sheer inability to gain perspective outside your own life experience, and the inability to empathize with others. Then people allow themselves to be overcome with hate and prejudice. Your grandfather has a heart, and recognizes that what YOU need is to have your gender identity respected and validated. I'm certain that he has lived a good life of introspection and compassion.
He has a very strong sense of self and respect for individual's life choices, as long as they aren't wholly destructiveness. As far as compassion goes... not so much. lol He is one very ornery old man. Definitely far from being a saint, but he has always had tremendous love for his grandchildren. So much so that he basically kept himself away from us most of our lives. Because he felt like he would only be a negative influence.
He wanted my siblings and I to look towards my step-grandfather, as our real grandfather. He respects him so much, even though he is the man my grandmother ran away from grandfather to be with. All he really did though, was make his grandchildren miss him. That's not to say I don't love my step grandfather too, probably one of the most amazing people I've ever met.
I came to say a version of this. <3